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« on: July 10, 2008, 02:50:44 AM » |
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I don't think I've ever been really stable according to other peoples standards, but I have been as stable as I have ever been during this whole illnes, at least for the majority of the last 4 months or so. My Bp still breaks through the meds and I show the ups, downs, and mostly anger. The changes are way less severe than they used to be and they changes don't last as long. I'm scared to death to change anything as far as meds go b/c I am doing so much better. I have had to increase my dosage of Seroquel b/c I couldn't sleep, and now I'm of course sleeping too much and I'm eating like a horse! I know I had to increase the Seroquel dosage, but my question is...
Do you think that just b/c you hit those bumps in the road, that you should go in changing your meds. I know the answer is, just talk to your pdoc about it, but I'm in a real f**king bind with that one right now. Do you think that it's a normal thing for your illness to still "break through " the meds. Is it normal for us to do that? Is it necessary to go straght into a med change?
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Phyllis
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« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2008, 07:32:35 AM » |
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the illness still breaks through. When we need to change or adjust meds is when that breaking through lasts a long time or when it is disrupting our lives to the point of needing a med change/adjustment.
Did that make any sense? I have only had a sip of coffee.
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k
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« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2008, 08:01:22 PM » |
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high, i totally relate to the question you're asking. i keep asking this myself. in fact i had a conversation about this with my therapist today about it. i was originally on 400-600mg of seroquel and went off months ago and have over this time had mood swings all over the place plus more but i also felt like i wasn't a zombie eating machine anymore and i felt more alive than in awhile, and then there's the bad stuff too. i have tried just about every drug on the market until finally i'm back to seroquel. this time however i'm on a lower dose and i'm on the XR version which doesn't seem as potent at this level (200). well i think i'm finally getting to the point where i can get up in the morning but all i do is panic and cry all day so of coarse the pdoc wants to up the seroquel or change back to the original kind which my therapist agrees with me will just make me a zombie and a food eating machine. i don't want to cry all the time and be miserable but i don't want to go back to sleeping all the time and eating everything in the frig. anyway, it may be unorthodox but my therapist actually recommended that i stay the coarse and see if i can learn to live with my ups and downs (if they're not too extreme). he's seen me for 8 years on seroquel and now 6months off and despite all the turmoil he told me i might want to hold off on increasing the seroquel. he said i may end up someday and have to resign myself to it but to perhaps fight a little longer to figure out if i'll level out or get a handle on dealing with my mood changes. i'm not expressing this very well. but it's a tough question you ask yourself and i understand it. i ask this question of myself constantly these days. it's not easy and i feel for you. k
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in the end, only kindness matters...jewel
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high maintenence
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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2008, 10:51:41 PM » |
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yes, yes, both of you made sense
K- I know you struggle so hard with meds and me, well I am a side effect machine!
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elwood
Full Member
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Posts: 173
George my boy. RIP
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« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2008, 07:19:36 PM » |
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A couple of weeks ago my pdoc and I decided that because I felt pretty much down all the time we should try to mess with my medications. Well, two and a half weeks after the change my  temper reappears big time.  A temper has been a problem of mine since birth. That was one of my goals was to find medications that would help with that and other problems. Well it seems that what works also has the side affect of taking away all my ambition and ability to do much. Well, I guess I'll be going back to the other medication again even though I feel much less depressed on the new medication. Seem all Meds have side effects, it just which side affect can I (and the one I love) live with.  Elwood |
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Living alone again.
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francie
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« Reply #5 on: July 13, 2008, 08:23:49 PM » |
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High, i used to have loads of break-through symptoms with my medications, and for me, it turned out that my anti-depressant was the culprit.. i'd have manic episodes and lose control quite a lot. Or i'd stay awake for days at the time. This happened with several different anti-depressants..... some would work well at first, then the nutty episodes would take over. They even tried reducing the dose, but it didn't help.
I did much better without the anti-depressants, and stuck with my mood stabilizers. right now, i'm not taking a mood stabilizer but i think i am going to see about getting back on one, because i've had really big sleep issues.
we are all so different, it's not really fair or even good to give advice about meds... i just hope you can find something that manages your symptoms well...
I also wondered, have you always been reactive, or is this just something which has happened since the bipolar disorder took hold? Maybe you could ask your husband, mom, and other family members who know about your situation and who have known you for years. If you have always been rather "reactive" to situations, the anger could have another, root cause... and the bipolar disorder could be enhancing this.
It's really difficult to judge for ourselves, because i sure couldn't... it took me years to be able to look back and say "erm, yes, i had a lot of knee-jerk reactions to situations"... i didn't realize.
I'm not perfect now, by any means, and still have anxiety and feel distressed at times. I feel "upset" inside once in a while, but not the anger like i used to... i worked through all that... My anger was learned from events i experienced growing up -- i was never taught anything about acceptance, or patience or to stop and think about events. Plus my father reacted (badly) to just about everything, and he was a friggin good teacher!
sometimes i do believe our anger and impatience is learned or comes as the result of our pasts.. of course agitation is a symptom of bipolar disorder, too.
hugs
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high maintenence
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« Reply #6 on: July 13, 2008, 11:56:14 PM » |
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I don't take an anti-depressant. Doc said I shouldn't b/c she thought it contributed to my mania, so I haven't been on one for a couple of years. I do take Lamictal for a mood stabalizer and I know now that I cannot live without it. I am having trouble getting scripts filled b/c of my doc/insurance change and I've been without Lamictal and Seroquel for a few days now. I never knew that Rx drug withdrawals could be this great. I hate this illness and I hate being dependent on drugs. I am not doing good right now at all. I feel numb all over and so weak and shaking tremendously. I am just plain sick. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm hoping to be back on the phone with this new doc, who has been on vacation for a fucking two months now. They say she will be back tomorrow, but something tells me she will be tooooo busy for me!
Yeah, I've always had trouble controlling my temper, but I never felt this kind of rage on an everyday basis like I do now.....Actually, for the past two days noone has even known that I exist b/c I have no feelings whatsoever. I'm just numb. I guess it's a good break for them not to get yelled at for two straight days. Not yelled at by me anyway...lol
I definitely did have a bad childhood, but I also feel that I brought nothing with me after I left home. I was determined to teach myself how to be a wife and a mother because I so badly wanted to prove to myself that I could be a good one and I wanted so badly to have a loving family. Everyone that knew me thought that I didn't have a chance in life due to what I grew up in, and I wanted to prove them wrong. I did for a while, but now after 17 years of marriage and a happy family later, I'm disappointing myself. I couldn't give a shit what those people think, I just wanted to succeed for myself and my life is shit!
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francie
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« Reply #7 on: July 15, 2008, 06:24:46 PM » |
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Sending you a gentle hug, High.
Just thought i'd share--the biggest way i learned to control my reactions was, every time something happened, or i was in a situation where i'd definitely have a "reaction", i would stop, take a breath, count to 20 in my mind.
Those twenty seconds gave me time to organize my thoughts and think about the reaction i would have given if i had never stopped to count to twenty...
Now, i don't count to 20 anymore, but i do stop and think about things (probably the same, 20 seconds) before i say anything or react. Much of the time, i can just give no response or reaction. Other times, i just take a while to digest whatever-it-is and then get back to the person or people later... (if you see what i mean)
It takes a lot of work to learn this, but it does help...
hugs
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sojo
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« Reply #8 on: July 16, 2008, 10:27:18 PM » |
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Hi there, usually if I get a med change I try not to get on the highest dose but test it out first. I hope you feel better soon and be sure to research any meds very carefully .I heard one person say at one of my bipolar meetings that because she had taken Lamictal now her thyroid is shot and she has to take thyroid medication or something, to that affect.Let us know how you are doing,sojo
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Phyllis
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« Reply #9 on: July 17, 2008, 08:40:22 AM » |
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Huh... never heard of Lamictal causing thyroid issues. I'll have to check that one out.
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high maintenence
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« Reply #10 on: July 17, 2008, 09:57:06 PM » |
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Sojo, are you sure they didn't say "Lithium"?
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Phyllis
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« Reply #11 on: July 18, 2008, 07:40:44 AM » |
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yeah, must be. Because I did research on Lamictal and thyroid issues and came up with nothing.
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