Without medication...

[cadno]

Without meds?

Frankly putting it I'm a mess, I once was in university and would not leave my room for nearly a month because I literally was overcome with feelings of paranoia, guilt and the best one fear (ties in nicely doesn't it).  I also just wanted to be swallowed up by the darkness that was my bedroom, I literally got to the point where I was just laying in bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for the end.

Cadno

[Gemini]

I hold down a full-time job at a pretty fast paced office.  Its difficult but thank heavens that I have medication to help or I wouldn't be able to work at all.

[nordicnicki]

im impressed that you have a full time job....i can only manage a couple of hours and thats my lot cant cope with anymore than that.....in fact i applaud all of you that manage to work.......i find it hard going with kids aswell

[Gemini]

Well yes I can hold a full-time job but I know for a fact that I could not handle full-time work and being a full-time mom.  It is just enough for me to be able to get my butt to work, get through the day (sometimes with focus and other times not) and to get home to crash and or hybernate.

Hmm...guess I never thought that medication is what helps me be able to work full-time.  I always put the meds down but to be honest if I didn't have them then working would not be an option.

[Paz]

 I used to work, but I got so bad that even with all the meds[and weed] I could not deal with people, or deal with  my husband and son. It has been 2 years since I have had to work. I have to say that the stress of trying to work was enormous...I am glad that I don't have to try and hold down a job. Stress really sends me into crazy mania and then bad stuff happens...my husband DJ has gone to great lengths to make my life as stress free and easy as possible...he is the best. Now all I have to do is take care of our son and just do everyday simple stuff. When we were in Costa Rica and I was so crazy & ill, we had a full time housekeeper.  Once I started to feel better, we kept the housekeeper anyway, as she became part of our family. If I didn't have all of the help and support at that time, I probably would have ended up in the hospital. Now I am feeling much better, but I know that I will not ever be employable again. I just can't get upset, or everything goes to shit. I get sad when I think that I can't work, as I used to enjoy working, but the thought of having to deal with coworkers and stuff makes me very nervous...It sucks not being normal.

[Ramji]

I'm getting concerned about toughing it out until retirement.  Even then, we have no real retirement funds.
I know I'm getting through this busy season because of the additional meds ... especially kolonipin.
Panic attacks seem to be the issue now more than anything.  Occasional depression.
Sometimes I would rather be dead than deal with another day.
And that's just about doing the same shot over and over.
I'm going to keep it together as long as I can.

[goosemuffin]

I haven't worked in over 2 years and before that my work history is shit. The longest I held a job was a year. I am a full time stay at home mom of a 1,3,6 and 16 year old kids. They are my job and sometimes I can't deal but somehow we manage to survive. I will be applying for work within the next couple of weeks due to my husband losing his job and taking a lower paying job...I don't think I will be very successful in the work force but I have no choice and can't wait up to 2 years for ssdi. SIGH I'm scared shitless to get back out there!

[Phyllis]

I can relate to you on the kids... I have a 2,7,10, and 16 year old. For me, it wouldn't be worth it to get a job. Number 1, no one around here is hiring and second, all of my paycheck would go to paying for a sitter. I can't trust the 16 year old to watch the kids, her and her 10 year old brother are like oil and water - they do NOT get along. I could get a third shift job, but again, no one is hiring and if I was lucky enough to land a job, when would I sleep?? It's tough out there. I wish you the best with finding employment.

[goosemuffin]

Thanks Phyllis, I'm actually going to have to do the third shift thing cause we can't afford daycare. I am fortunate enough to have my parents around to fill in when me or hubby needs them to..but sometimes that is like pulling teeth, my kids aren't assholes so I don't know why it's so hard to get anyone to watch them :shrug: