Does anybody care?

[Paz]

 Hey everybody,
 A lot of you don't know me, but the original members do. I have not posted in awhile, but rest assured I still read the site often, and  I speak to Phyllis on a regular basis. One of the reasons I haven't posted is cuz when we first left last year for the winter, I was an absolute mess, crazy beyond belief and so doped up on meds I couldn't think straight, and my hands shook so badly that I couldn't type, or dress myself. But all of that is a long story, and I am much better now.
 I am posting because I am really sad that people don't seem to appreciate when you do things to help them. For those of you who are new, my husband, DJ created this site for me as an act of love and support. He wanted to help me, and others like me. It was an incredibly kind and generous thing for him to do. He only did it to help, and I love him dearly for doing it for me.
 He also came up with a way to help BP's to make money from home. Some people did well [and still do well] and others were very greedy and almost screwed everything up for all of us. Whatever, it's water under the bridge now. However, it is very dissapointing to have someone that you try to help wind up stabbing you in the back.  It makes you wonder why you should even try to help others, as they don't seem to appreciate it.
 A few things you should know... the site belongs to us. I mean DJ & I, but I also mean all of us, the members here. But lest you forget, DJ created it and fixes problems when they occur, and does all of the things that need to be done. Phyllis [Bless You!!] oversees things and she is amazing, we all should have the utmost respect for her. She is a great lady, and I trust her with my life.
  Another thing, don't forget that DJ is the one who pays for the site to be here. Nothing is free, and I just want to remind people that he doesn't have to do this for us.
 I just wonder if anybody ever thinks of how cool it is that someone would do this for people, to try and help those of us who need a place to vent. We have both been wondering lately if people even appreciate when you try to help them. Obviously, the one he helped to make $$ did not, and that just sucks. It makes DJ not want to help people, cuz they don't appreciate it and stab you in the back and demonize you, when all you were trying to do is help.
 So, I ask all of you, do you even care? Does this place help you? Or should we not even bother?
 Reply if you want. But please, don't write a bunch of quotes about forgiveness, etc. If I want to read stuff like that, I will just use Google. I want to hear it in your own words, not someone elses.

[nordicnicki]

i for one owe a lot to you both for this site as it has helped me a great deal when times have been tough for me as i have had no where else to turn.....it gives me great comfort and aids that feeling of being lost and alone with this illness......i have always known that i only need switch on my computer and that little family is there always ready to listen and not to judge.im sure that dj knows how much his work and effort is appreciated just by the way that this site is used by both old and new members who are still joining by the day.
i understand that it is a team effort between paz,dj and phyllis to maintain the site as it is and i am very pleased that you do and i hope that this will be able to continue....this is a lifeline

[Cathy]

Well said, Nicki.

I really like this site. Like on all forums I am sometimes annoyed by people, especially those who make it all about them (which is different from venting, which I understand we all do from time to time, I mean those who genuinely can't focus on anything else) but it is made up for by those of you who do regard the site as a place of friendship and support. I am very grateful to DJ for creating the site and to yourself (Paz) and Phyllis for helping to maintain it. It is very thoughtful of you. For the most part this site functions excellently and I think that is why we still have original and older members hanging around. I was shocked by what I read in the Babble forum and really hope it is an isolated incident because I wouldn't want anything to screw up what we have here. Because I like what we have here, very much 

That's all I have to say about that.

[Phyllis]

I think it goes without saying that I love this place. If I didn't like it I would be in lurk mode or not even here at all. Message boards have their ups and downs - it's inevitable. I love the new people that have actually joined in conversation, it has been wonderful! I can say that this is a safe place for me. I know I can come here and not be judged for how I am feeling or what meds I am taking or not taking. It is a very caring community and I thank DJ and Paz for starting this up and for keeping it going.

[k]

omg, i just wrote a huge post and accidentally deleted it - how i don't know.   so i'll try again.  i'm sorry i've been gone for awhile. have been having extremely slow computer problems and have gotten frustrated.  i hope that you and dj remember how much i have thanked you and tried to show my appreciation in the past.  i still do have great appreciation.  i have wondered what happened to you.  i thought things might have been going great for you and i am so sorry to hear it was the opposite.  i do not take this site for granted.   i wrote something horrible a little while ago and i have apologised profusely to those that might have read it.  i am overly sensitive to rejection and paranoid it seems to see rejection where it does not occur.  god i am trying to work on that.
before i came on line today i was thinking how much i appreciate and depend upon this site even when i'm not able to actually be here.  just knowing it's here is incredibly comforting. and, back when i didn't sleep it saved me and comforted me.  sometimes i would just hang around in the middle of night even when noone was here.   i use to talk to the dr. in the chat forum even though i couldn't get him to talk back. it just felt comforting to be here.   i have always understood why dj created this site and that he was always there in the background fixing our problems.  i was incredibly greatful for the blogs he allowed us to have and am sorry that they have fallen into disuse.  i keep wanting to go back and hope that i will soon, whether anyone reads it or not.    I LOVE THIS SITE.  I desperately need this site.  even though i don't always show it or force myself to be here i feel that this has been home in the past and a safe place to come.  once i did leave the site for awhile because of my severe depression which led to a lot of ideations that aren't shareable in this forum.  but once over them i came back.  it does bother me that members disappear but now i understand that it has a lot more due to our illness than to the forum. 
i also want to say,  just because i haven't,   is that the information and articles phyllis posts are invaluable to me and i am so greatful.  i hope that we start talking about the issues that come up a little more.    sorry i know i'm babbling.  DJ and Paz please know that you help people with this forum.  please don't go away.  and if money does become an issue please ask because i'm sure some of us might be in a position to support our group our members our friends our family!
i hope things get better Paz.  i was so sorry to read of your situation.
k

[k]

oh, and by the way Paz, thank you for the kind words a few months ago when i had been awake so long.  it's interesting we can tell by the things we post that we've been awake a very long time.  anyway, confirming that you weren't mad at me and to get some sleep was comforting. thanks! 

[Ramji]

I care.  I think it's great.  You guys were just about the only people I communicated with for months last year.

Thank you   Thank you   Thank you

[biPOLAREXPRESS]

As Im sure others have done, I came across the site looking for someone to relate. I read as a guest for some time then built up the nerve to create a screen name and go through the steps to be a part of the crowd. Which was nice, so many people sharing what I thought I shared only with a remote few. Now, I believe that I am stronger because of this site. Sure like most I go to the doctor and get to talk to him for $145 an hour and I take the meds that are prescribed, but really its the info and insight I get on this site that gets me thru. My doc doesnt have BP so he can see what Im going through, but he is not feeling it. The people on here are feeling it or have been through something so simular, you hear every word they type in as if you are in the room with them, the pain, fear or even elation. I am happy that this site is here on my darkest days, cause I may not post that day, but I did learn something. I moved recently across the country, but the people I consider my friends did not stay in my last town, they came with me and if that were gone, I would have a hard time coping with it. I thank you and your husband for your creation. His love and understanding for you has helped you as well as so many others. Thank you so much. I care about this place, its not just a website, its more like home....

Chadwick     

[Brian]

I care, even though I haven't been around in a while.

[cadno]

I'm new so do I really have the right to say what I am about to say...........begs questioning doesn't it.

Firstly I will applaud DJ, yourself and those who have contributed to what I see as an amazing place.

Secondly I will say if money is an issue, for those who use this wonderful place would a donation button do any harm?

Lastly and I will get shot for this, while in one hand I felt the statement was venting true feelings and I commend that, for new members such as myself I suddenly felt like I should be bowing down.  Don't get me wrong I'm grateful for finding such a place but feel that it is unwarrented to make such statements when people could be in the swing of a major down and read into it that they are causing you so much upset because some people don't respect it.  I'm sorry if that offends but I thought I'd be honest, for a moment reading that I thought 'well if you feel that way close the forum, never mind the people who have respected it'.  Now I am betting that was not the intention by any stretch of the imagination but I felt I had to draw attention it incase it scared new members off.  From what I've seen here this is a place of help and serenity, that is the image I have, that is the image I would love to see more of.

As I said, I apologise for offending, but I hope you understand, I've been in the throws of a real downer and if I had read this post a few days ago I would have felt that I should leave because I was being a burden.

Cadno

[cadno]

I thought I'd add that I will understand completely if you wish to remove me.

Cadno

[DJ]

Hey Cadno, (and everyone else too)

Had I not written the post in question, I might be inclined to agree with you.  I built this place specifically because a particularly bad upswing got Paz banned from the NAMI website.  She had started to rely on NAMI, and this was the only solution I could come up with.

FYI, I am still furious about the post in question.  When I first learned how to actually earn a living online, I helped High Maintenance to do the same.  My 'negative daily emails' all told her to stop posting on Yahoo for at least a week, two would be better.  She was risking everyone's income by not taking long breaks.  Finally she was blacklisted by Yahoo, and all of her work got deleted, and her income totally stopped.  I had to stop working for three months to avoid risking my livelihood too.  My daily eMails all tried to prevent her from losing her income, as well as mine and others.

It was not a question of bipolar high's or low's, it was about blind greed and distrust in the person trying to help, me.

BPBabble isn't going anywhere, it still serves the same purpose today as it did the day that I started to build it.  It is and will remain a safe place for people with bipolar to post no matter what cycle they happen to be in.  If you post while manic (or sometimes depressed), many other BP websites will ban you.

I looked at the web stats yesterday and realized that BPBabble will be two years old on November 27th.  I would have to confirm this with Phyllis, but I do not think that we have banned a single person in that time for bipolar behavior.  We have issued very few cooling off periods, and banned a pile of non-bipolars from posting.  We even banned a therapist from the site as the members here generally didn't want her advice.  (I had invited her to participate, my bad.)

So for what it is worth, I know that the site is appreciated.  I am not looking for anything in return except that you respect what it is here for.  Please visit the website and post, your contributions to the forum will help it grow, and ultimately help more people find the site.

With regard to a donate button, that will never happen.  I think that it would be in poor taste to ask for money from the people I would like to help.  I want your participation, not your money.

So thank you all for being part of BPBabble, and getting us within reach of being online for a full two years.  Perhaps I should organize a conference call so that members can all chat on the phone for a couple of hours.  It has been over a year since our last conference call.

I hope that today is a good day for all of you,

Derek

[Paz]

 Hi Everybody,
 Thank you all for replying! I am happy to hear that the site is helping people. That was the whole reason that it was created. Living with BP is really hard, and it is important that we all have a safe haven to come to and express ourselves. DJ and I just want to help people, we get a lot of satisfaction and joy knowing that we are doing something that helps, something that matters. That is why we were so upset about the whole mess with the "just need to babble" post. It just made us question why we bother, you know? DJ was mad, and I was upset, but c'est la vie. Life goes on.
 I just want to reiterate what DJ said...money is not an issue when it comes to the site. I guess I just wanted to remind people about how the site stays up and running. If I made anyone feel badly, I apologize. It was not my intention.

 A few notes:
 Nicki, thanks for being the first to reply!! You are never afraid to say what you feel and I admire you for that. You are a trip, and I mean that in the best possible way.
 Cathy, thanks for your kind and wise words. I love you new pic! You are the epitome of a beautiful English Rose.
 Phyllis, you totally rock!!! You know how I feel about you!
 K, You are the sweetest, thank you. Don't worry about anything. I am fine[at this moment] and I will write a post explaining where I have been and all that has happened. 
 Brian, since you are Phyllis' husband, you rock by associaton!
 Ramji, so great to see you back! Hope that you participate in the conference call, when we used to have them at the beginning, it was so nice to hear your kind voice. We love you lots!
 Bipolar express, Welcome! I am glad that you replied, and I look forward to getting to know you.
 Cadno, Welcome! And thanks for replying. Never be afraid to say what you feel here. I can be a little hard to take sometimes, but I am basically a decent person. I am crazy, but not mean. And I do have a sense of humour, just ask Phyllis, as I have made her laugh quite a bit when we talk on the phone.
 Anyway, Thank you all from the bottom of  my heart. I hope you all will try to particpate in the conference call! It is fun. Just ask Ramji  .
 Peace.

[Cathy]

Thanks Paz  it's actually an old photo, about 2 1/2 years as my latest modelling shots were TFP, meaning I didn't pay for them, so I don't have copyright and I wasn't sure whether this would be an ok place to use them.

For the record, we think you rock too 

[DJ]

I just thought of a way that everyone can help bpBabble thrive.  If you have a minute, go to Yahoo!Answers and answer one or two questions about bipolar, and give a link back the the website.

• Go here: http://answers.yahoo.com/
• Find a question about bipolar that you can answer.
• Put a link to http://www.bpbabble.com in the sources box.

If we get enough posts, BPBabble will jump from page three on Google for the term, "Bipolar Forum", to hopefully page one.  That will mean a lot more traffic and more members too.

Thanks!
 
DJ