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Bipolar Chat & Forum > General Category > Just need to Babble! >  Am I bad?
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Author Topic: Am I bad?  (Read 262 times)
Paz
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« on: March 18, 2010, 01:56:36 AM »
 Well....it's 3:40 AM and I am awake...stupid daylight savings time! Anyway...earlier today [ actually yesterday, since it's almost 4 in the morning] I was in a foul mood...it was an ugly dreary rainy day...and I was upset because I was thinking about the past and about people who pissed me off. I was a bit depressed, and cried for awhile until I started a train of thought that I refer to as a death wish...not my own death [thankfully] but about certain people who have set me off [the people who know how to push my crazy button]. And Heaven forgive me, but I was seriously hoping a few of them would just drop dead! It made me feel bad about myself, but instead of beating myself up about it and obsessing about that train of thought, I reminded myself that regular people get upset too, and that BP's are just more sensitive and moody, and that it was not the end of the world that I was feeling "off".  It took alot of willpower to stop my thoughts, but I did it. I felt much better after talking about it with DJ...I guess maybe I needed a mental enema...
 Anybody else ever feel that way?
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
Phyllis
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« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2010, 05:14:22 AM »
aww man! now i'm sorry for missing your calls yesterday! I don't think your bad. I think like ya said, we are allowed to have "off" days. We just have to smack our selfs in the head and remember that! And it helps to calm yourself down too. Smiley
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christian.156
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« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2010, 10:35:05 AM »
There is a Buddhist practice called patient forbearance. A monk was practicing this in a certan city in China. He encouraged people to insult him, spit on him, etc. All went well for forty years. Then the mnk lost his temper. "I wish," he thoougt, "all these people would drop dead." And by the power of his austerity, they all did.
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Paz
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« Reply #3 on: March 21, 2010, 08:38:18 AM »
 If I had that power of austerity I am afraid that people would start dropping dead left and right... I Shit You Not
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
goosemuffin
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« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2010, 10:24:46 AM »
You're not bad at all. There are just really stupid people in this world who just want to stir up shit in others lives. Only one person in my life I would die a long painful death just so he would have an ounce of the pain he's caused me. I'm being way melodramatic but seriously, no your not bad at all!
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People don't change. Unless your bipolar.
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