Selfish

[Ashes]

I feel as if I am being so selfish.  My sister is here with her kids and pets and its driving me nuts.  Her A\C is out and its 95 degrees out so she cant go home. I think I could deal with them but not them and the pets.  My 13 year old niece has Asbergers so she is a handful on her own.  But adding in 2 indoor dogs and 2 cats which have fleas and dont go out when they should I am about to loose it. 
I feel bad because last year and 3 years ago I was so sick she had to step in and help me.  She offered me a place to stay when I was to paranoid and delusional to stay home and she helped look after me and my son.  I know she wont be here long but I fee; so selfish for being irritable, picky and antsy. I want to think its ok to feel this way because I cant help it.  But all that dose is make me feel like I am coping an excuse and more guilty.

[Phyllis]

It's not so strange that you feel this way. Bipolar's are notorious for being selfish -- it's one of our trademarks. The only thing we can do is to try to understand if we are really being selfish and try to cope the best we can. It's difficult, I'm not going to lie.

[Ashes]

I think I figured out part of the problem.  When I am at someones house I try not to impose.  I try to keep my stuff together and stay out of the way.  With her its nothing like that.  Everything keeps getting carried of things from the kitchen into the living room etc... Plus she gets on the computer whenever and watches whatever she feels like no matter how I feel about the show.  I try to be nice by making her feel at home but I think it goes to far.

[Phyllis]

sounds like she feels at home. maybe, before you have had enough, try to say something to her in a nice calm manner about how you are feeling?

[Dreamline]

Sounds like she has forgotten its YOUR house and not HERS.  And dogs pissing and shitting in the floor, NO FUCKING WAY...make her crate them for god's sake!!!!  Jesus fucking christ that's not being selfish!!!!!!

[Ashes]

She tends to take it personal when I say something about the dogs.  Her pets are still here but her and the kids are gone.  The kids are at their dads and she is at work.  As far as I know she is still without A\C so she will be here tonight also.  I have figured out my problem though it is complete chaos when she is here.  The kids do nothing but argue and she fights constantly with the kids.  All I hear is a bunch of screaming and yelling and that along with my anxiety doesn't work.  I found my remote control in the kitchen and my pot holders in the living room yesterday. 

[Ashes]

My cat is trained better than her dogs.  I don't even own a litter box he goes to the door and cries to get out.   

[Phyllis]

Is it your house or are you living with your parents? I can't remember.

[Ashes]

Mine

[Dreamline]

Sorry, I know in my last post I sounded like a real bitch.  I've been in an everything-pisses-me-off kind of mood for a few weeks now.  For real though...if anyone should take it personal it should be you because she is letting them piss in your house!  Don't worry about offending her...easy for me to say...in fact if I was there I would jump all in her shit...I dunno what to say, my advise is to just tell her the rules of your home.  God my a/c was out and it was hot as hell and sombody offered to let me and my dog to stay....I'd repect their house and not disturb anything they do.  I wouldn't fucking take over WTF how fucking rude and inconsiderate to your kindness and anxiety.  Sorry....I'm pretty amped up lately, shit just annoys me...esp rude mean people.  Fuck, sorry...I'm probably no help.

[Ashes]

Thanks to all.  I always feel like I shouldn't have to say anything because it should be obvious.  Real life doesn't work that way what I see as a problem isn't always something that bothers others.  My sister try's but she cant imagine how we feel sometimes. 
She is the type of person who feels bad for the homeless unless they are addicted to drugs.  She cant get past that idea that mental illness and addiction are conscious thoughts.   She isn't really a bitch she just cant get it.

[Dreamline]

Yeah, I know what you mean!  I feel like I shouldn't have to say anything because if was them, I wouldn't do that.  I know people like that where they feel sorry for somebody who's homeless or sick...but if they're on drugs then its different.  On drugs means they need even more help...not to enable them further but help them help themselves if they want help.  And some people just don't get it, you got it.  They think our moods are by choice.

[Phyllis]

Gotcha! If it is YOUR house, then that changes the ball game. Tell her "Ya know, I love you and all, but you need to respect my house rules". If she doesn't like it, then she can get the fuck out. You have to still have boundaries in your home, and us BPers need boundaries. If she can't respect your home, then... I was under the impression you lived with your mom in which case it would be your mom's deal to have to handle the situation. By all means, give your sis the smack down!

[Ashes]

I am feeling better today.  I am up to the duty of taking care of my sisters pets for another day.  At least now I can be calm and say I have a carpet cleaner its not that bad.  I guess I have just been in an ill mood the last few days.  I think I feel better now that I was able to vent.

[goosemuffin]

wozers! Yea I totally agree with Phyllis and Dream- if she can't respect your home..she needs to find an alternative. I have 8 younger siblings and always take them on when they are in need, even if it means I go without..and this gets me in trouble because they tend to walk all over me. Sometimes it pays to be a bitch. You do what you need to stay sane, but she will be your sister even if you go all bipolar on her and tell her where to stick it.