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Dreamline
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« on: July 02, 2010, 10:30:23 AM » |
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You ever feel really amped up and instead of things being awesoem they really suck or are just really intesnse (like w/ sex) but not pleasurable at all? But at the same time you feel like you have to b doing something even if it all sucks? There's all this stuff I want to do but at the same time I can't do any of it...I just want to get away form here so bad like literally run away...just take a plane and whatever the fuck ahppens happens...I keep thinking about it.
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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Phyllis
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« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2010, 12:39:23 PM » |
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I'm feeling that way myself. Usually this is the beginning of mania for me. I thought it was all just pms, but apparently not.  Everything is ticking me off. I have so much I want and need to do and feel completely overwhelmed. I am not even finding pleasure in my safety nets; music and internet. I am supposed to be taking a getaway sometime this month with my bestfriend and I am not even looking forward to it, and I want to back out of it. |
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was it love or was it the idea of being in love?
or was it the hand of fate that seem to fit just like a glove?
- Pink Floyd
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Ashes
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« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2010, 05:59:15 PM » |
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When I'm in an episode it seems like all I do is run. Usually I'm paranoid and thats why I'm running but I do run. I cant get far enough away once I moved 8 hours from my hometown and many times I have driven all day and night.
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How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?
Vincent Van Gogh
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paz
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« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2010, 11:46:03 AM » |
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Whenever I have an episode that always happens...every time. Fight or flight reaction? I want to do both when mania starts amping up.
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Right On!
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Dreamline
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« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2010, 09:02:25 AM » |
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I'm gonna run...I'm going camping tonight with my dog.
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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goosemuffin
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« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2010, 06:20:13 AM » |
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Yep...only thing that keeps me from running is my old man. He usually slaps me in the face with reality...'HEY YOU DUMBASS...WAKE UP YOU HAVE KIDS TO TAKE CARE OF. So this most of the time reigns me in but only enough to do the bare mimnimum...I escape through the internet and music as Phyllis said...but sometimes it's not enough. I hope you're doing better after a camping trip....I love the lake and camping out.
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Logged
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Screw it.
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Dreamline
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« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2010, 10:14:25 AM » |
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My camping trip was choatic. I was hallucinating and freaking out, sometimes I couldn't tell what was real anymore. But I saw my pdoc very soon after that and added lamictal...doing better now, not out of the woods yet.
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Logged
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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Ashes
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« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2010, 11:45:59 AM » |
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Sorry your camping trip was spoiled. I'm afraid to go anywhere because of that. Hope you feel better soon.
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How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?
Vincent Van Gogh
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Dreamline
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« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2010, 05:39:00 PM » |
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I am doing alot better, this lamictal is really helping already. I'm not really hallucinating anymore, I think I'm hypomanic/mildly depressed...compared to before...its wonderful!
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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bee_bop
Jr. Member
 Offline
Posts: 97
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« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2010, 12:56:44 AM » |
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Glad the lamictal is providing some relief for you. Hypomania is good - I want it to come visit me again 'cause at the moment I am feeling like this:  |
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chasemanzmum
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« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2010, 01:47:02 PM » |
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I had things before go really good for me and felt like crap. Does that count?
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If you can't run with the big dogs; stay on the porch!
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dragonfly
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« Reply #11 on: July 22, 2010, 02:07:43 AM » |
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what i really hate is when you start off on a enchanted and blissful manic episode and then it turns bad and all the things that are wonderful and keep amping up suddenly are horrible things and then that amps up and up and all you want to do is die,everything is just too too much,and then if it wasn't bad enough the panic hits and then your heart is out of your chest your trying to control your breathing and it does nothing and your brain is sure that death really is coming it's absolutely paralyzing and all your worst nightmares are coming true right in front of your eyes, even though your brain is so fucked up it actually thinks you may be dreaming and why is it not waking up and sometimes (just how i write it) you feel like your in 3rd person and your not even there ,this is someone elses body get me out of here..sometimes this happens ,i am so scared of it it sometimes causes me to panic just thinking about it. BUT....i know it won't last ,can i ride this out,or do i swallow the little pill that calms me down,thats usually the answer,call my husband and get him to open the damn bottle and get me how much i need because i don't know..it's like alice in wonderland,,,eat me ,,drink me and who's that caterpillar.....camping is good i don't freak out at all when i am in the bush,just as long as i don't see any people.This is however not always how it turns out,my life revolves around the word SOMETIMES i don't know who has my remote but they really don't know what they are doing!!!!!!  |
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nothing is forever...
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #12 on: July 22, 2010, 07:56:44 PM » |
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Everything you guys are saying i go through the same thing.....except i don't have like major hallucinations.
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dragonfly
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« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2010, 02:47:49 AM » |
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they don't happen all the time,,you never know when or if they are gonna hit you and whats weird is sometimes i don't notice them i actually think it's real,,,it's only if i say something to my husband or kids ,,you know like watch out for that hole in the ground and they'll say what hole...what a stupid thing to hallucinate...usually i see animals or people,if it's animals though i take that as a medicine dream and that i need to learn something from it...how many indians in history have seen things as a sacred spiritual vision,when i was pregnant with my first son i was 19 and i saw clear as day but in the middle of the night ,an old indian woman floating above me when i was in bed,she was all floaty and her hair was drifting all over the place i didn't know at the time i was pregnant,but i think that was what she was trying to tell me,my mum thinks she was my ancestor,our family goes back to nancy ward,strange that i ended up in australia,,,i still feel that trace of american indian blood .it helps me alot...so seeing things isn't all bad,depends how you analyze it really
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nothing is forever...
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Dreamline
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« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2010, 11:14:13 AM » |
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I'm still sorta hallucinating...I see people at the counter all the time at work and I go up there and nobody is there. Its in my peripheral mostly...sometime I hear people and look and nobody is there. Freaky.
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Logged
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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