daveboy
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« on: August 17, 2010, 09:55:37 PM » |
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Firstly, hello.
Secondly,I don't think I'll be able to write too much now as I'm grappling with a nasty depression. So disappointing as I'd been free from this hell for weeks. I'm almost looking forward to a manic turn - anything to get out of this. Now when I'm manic I'd never wish for a depression. I know that mania is just a form that depression takes, but it beats the shit out of a real depression. That said I'm all to well aware of how scary mania can be. I'm rambling on a lot for a person who said he couldn't write for long. It's midnight and I don't know what to do with myself. TV - no. This - well I guess so I think I can feel the meds beginning to kick in. When I say meds, I mean the extra seroquel I popped about an hour ago. O.K. It's time for me to stop (sorry if that all sounded like a load of crap - but no surprises there I suppose.
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Paz
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« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2010, 10:03:09 PM » |
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Hello. You are the first person that I have heard say that mania is just a form that depression takes. Did you hear that from someone or some Doc?
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
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Dreamline
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« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2010, 10:13:48 PM » |
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Actually I have heard that too...Kay Redfeild Jamison says that. She doesn't agree w/ the term bipolar because it doesn't explain mixed moods and she thinks mania could just be another form of depression. She's a psychiatrist and bipolar herself.
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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daveboy
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« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2010, 11:00:18 PM » |
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I'm not quite sure where I heard it - I thought it was just a conclusion that I reached with my shrink. That said, I've read some Kay Redfield Jamison, so that was probably it.
However, I think it's fairly widely acknowledged that angry people channel their negative emotions into being cruel to others rather than displaying their 'weakness'.
As we all know, with we bps all the energy and emotion are very negative, so I guess that makes an argument that mania is a way of expressing this negativity (e.g. a reckless disregard for one's own life), just as weeping and feeling too crippled to do anything are in turn ways in which negativity (hopelessness) is expressed when in a depressive state
There you go - more rambling. I have no idea if the above holds water, but I'm sure you know what I mean.
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Dreamline
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« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2010, 11:04:28 PM » |
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Well since they don't really know exactly what causes our mood swings, that makes just as much sense as anything else. You know even "sane" people laugh when they are enraged...maybe that's another connection to mania.
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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Phyllis
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« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2010, 08:33:37 AM » |
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I have heard this as well... I had a therapist tell me this. All about internalizing and what not.
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Paz
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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2010, 09:45:19 AM » |
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"However, I think it's fairly widely acknowledged that angry people channel their negative emotions into being cruel to others rather than displaying
their 'weakness'."
I guess so, but how does one explain the euphoria as being a negative emotional channel of emotion? I experience euphoria often during mania, and it does not feel negative at all, and during those times I am not cruel at all, but the total opposite.
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
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Dreamline
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« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2010, 10:35:29 AM » |
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Yeah...its far more complicated than just one theory can explain. Its like people can be manic and nice or angry...then they can be depressed and nice to everyone or a total ass.
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The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
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daveboy
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« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2010, 01:19:28 PM » |
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Paz,
When I mentioned 'angry people' I meant non-bps.
But I'm interested to know - when you experience euphoria during a manic phase, how long does it last? For me that part is pretty short and very quickly my brain starts to rush e.t.c. and it's extremely 'uncomfortable'.
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Paz
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« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2010, 03:35:56 PM » |
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Euphoria can last for up to a week...it's amazing how electric and sparkly everything is.
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
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daveboy
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« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2010, 10:04:59 PM » |
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That sounds so much better than scrambled egg brains in a tumble dryer. Is the sensation all pleasant? Do you crash when it ends or does it just tail off?
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Paz
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« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2010, 10:15:00 PM » |
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It eventually turns into irritability and frustration... I get annoyed at everything and it seems that nobody can do anything right and that I am just a pain in the ass..I have to remove myself. When I crash I get uber depressed....way,way down. I feel worthless and hopeless and everything is blurry and grey. It sucks.
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
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daveboy
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« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2010, 10:54:36 PM » |
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I too get terribly irritable. I find people snapping at me and I just can't see straight away that I've just bitten their heads off.
As for the lows, I'm afraid I know them all too well and I share your pain. The worthlessness is just awful - that feeling that everybody else is a real person and you're just this collection of skin, bones and organs with no place in the world. I haven't had a full-on soul-sucking, paralysing depression for a while, but I am still depressed most of the time, the world seeming to have a great, grey veil pulled over it. Just the occasional chinks of light for which I'm pathetically grateful
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catddison
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BEep BeEp
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« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2010, 06:46:39 AM » |
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 Ever wonder if you could pic a cartoon to represent a life of a bipolar person. Mine is the road runner beep beep beep. Always running and trying to get some one else to take the rap. 
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:-)-;
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2010, 08:17:39 AM » |
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Paz, It sounds like i experience the same thing you experience....when i'm manic i get the euphoria and it lasts for maybe a week or two. And then i start getting annoyed with everything....especially people....and then i become aggressive in my behavior and i tend to be rough with the way i do things.....like i might get aggravated while cleaning the mirrors bc of a speck on it so i tend to use up all my energy just to get that little speck off......that's just an example. But when i get depressed i tend to isolate myself from other ppl and just want to cry and get weepy.....and just like everyone else said....everything starts to have look gray.....i thought i was the only person that experienced that. Like the whole world has this gray blanket over it and it looks foggy.  ....right now i'm experiencing the gray blanket...which sucks. |
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