I'm a cranky baby.

[SmilingElephant]

All day i've been weepy and i cried for hours and my mom contributes alot to it...can't wait to be on my own! She's a major trigger for me. I want to laugh but when i do i almost cry. Its just been a bad day.

[cadno]

I hate those moods, though when you do let go it can be interestings, sometimes I feel released when I do, other times I sink further into it.  I'm hoping its the first for you, hang in there!

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

I feel soooo out of character...i have a craving to smoke and i have NEVER smoked a day in my life. And i want to have sex...lots of it but i'm still a virgin and saving myself. And this all just scares me. I don't like it! And i wanna cry some more but my eyes hurt from cryin so much....my whole body hurts.

[cadno]

Do you want to chat, I'm around and the chatroom is free?

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

I would like to but my mom is in the living room where the computer is and i honestly can not be around her right now. I'm highly frustrated!

[cadno]

No worries, offer is there though, might help to write down how you are feeling though, I sometimes find it helps put things into a place where you can reflect far better on them.  And if you mother is getting to you, my advice is to find a space for you, at least until you feel a little better.

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

I can't write fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. I left the house and went to the park and sat at a table over looking this huge lake and cried my eyes out and talked to God and tried to read the bible and listened to my ipod. Helped a little bit. Took a shower with my favorite lavender soap. That calmed me down some. But i'm still weepy.

[cadno]

I'm trying to find some of my breathing techniques, but it sounds like you've managed to relax yourself with that shower.  I was going to ask if you had any sort of faith as that is often a good source of strength for anyone, I know my own beliefs have helped me in many ways.  All I can say is talk to us if you need to, you are not alone and everyone who is either online now or on the boards will support you in your time of need.

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

Thanx Rich. I just feel like i threw a tantrum. And i have a headache and my jaws are really sore. I was kinda doing fine until lately i've been constantly up and down up and down. I hate this!

[cadno]

I was like it the other week and it was hell, but you know you'll get through it, I've read your stuff here and you come across as being very aware of your condition and how it works.  That is the greatest tool in this game, if you understand the nature of the beast you can command it some might say.  Personally I like to think of it like a rollercoaster, you get the ups and downs and a lot of the time you wish you could just get off, but sometimes, once in a while you have a moment where the ride called life seems pretty cool.

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

Can't wait for it to be cool again. I told my cousin i'm thinkin about making my own lavender body butter. I don't know a company who makes it...but lavender actually saves the freakin world as far as i'm concerned! And if i come up with the perfect formula i might start selling it...for moodrings like us!

[cadno]

Got a supply myself, I do a lot of work with herbs, mostly incense and stuff and the odd bath oils lol.  At the moment I'm making up toying with scents, got a thing for vanilla and peppermint lately lol.

Rich

[SmilingElephant]

Lol!!! I had a thing for peppermint...now i can't STAND it!! It burns my stomach

I LOVE vanilla and anything that smells like cake or cookies and i like the smell of burning incense.

[Dreamline]

I have a thing for basil tea lately.  Hey have you ever tried real Nag Champa incense from India?  ITS AWESOME!

[Phyllis]

I LOVE Nag Champa!!! It's my all time Favorite. When I get a box, I burn through it sooooooooooooo fast!