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SmilingElephant
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« on: August 30, 2010, 05:15:07 PM » |
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For why? I'm not sure...as some of u know i've been really mixed lately and right now i actually feel homicidal. I just need to see some actual bleeding i'm so frustrated and heated and i don't have a real reason to feel this way. I feel like i'm about to lose my grip. Just annoyed with ppl and life itself.
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 05:16:01 PM » |
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I've been waking up like this more than a few days now and it feels like its getting worse.
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #2 on: August 30, 2010, 05:20:17 PM » |
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I just want ppl to go far far away and leave me the hell alone! Unfortunately i have to work tomorrow and try to hide the Hulk within me. I'll go take my stupid pill...it just makes me go to sleep anyway. Ever think maybe the way they're treating us bipolars is by slowly killing us??
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #3 on: August 30, 2010, 05:23:11 PM » |
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My family is annoying me. So many attitudes in the air. I went to the store almost got hit by a van...i wouldn't have cared. And i didn't. Ppl wanna eyeball me in the parkin lot while i'm walkin in like they ain't never seen a crazy black chick before. Isn't that our effing trademark?!
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #4 on: August 30, 2010, 05:33:24 PM » |
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When is the point you decide to go to the hospital? After you cut yourself or before? I just feel so angry...like a big forest fire in my chest. I actually have been getting hot flashes lately. I just want to calm down don't know what else to do to calm down and i don't think anything will. So i guess i have to be tranquilized!
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cadno
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« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2010, 05:36:22 PM » |
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Hmmm, you need an outlet for the anger, somewhere you can literally let it all out and scream whatever you want at the world!
Rich
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #6 on: August 30, 2010, 05:50:56 PM » |
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I have no place to do that. Everywhere i go there's ppl. Stupid freakin ppl! Like roaches! Everywhere and you can't get rid of them!
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cadno
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« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2010, 05:55:05 PM » |
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Do you have any techniques for relaxation?
You know like breathing or colour therepy?
Rich
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2010, 06:02:41 PM » |
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If i could get my dad to turn off his stupid loud music without him whimpering maybe i could think
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2010, 06:06:06 PM » |
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If i draw something its gonna be nothing or something really violent. I'm just so irritated...every little thing pisses me off! Everything! And my whole body is tense and it hurts like hell!
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cadno
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« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2010, 06:14:37 PM » |
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If you did draw, even if it was voilent, would you feel better?
Rich
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #11 on: August 30, 2010, 07:37:20 PM » |
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I feel a little better...pulled out the crayons and had a ball. Still irritated tho.
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Paz
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« Reply #12 on: August 30, 2010, 09:39:49 PM » |
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Do you have any benzos [ativan,xanax,valium] that you could take and then maybe do some more colouring or reading or web surfing? That might help.
Finding a place to let out a primal scream is good too...a park ,beach, etc. maybe go and throw some rocks as far as you can? The benzos can really help if you have them, and you really have to just try and talk yourself down, you know?
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If you tremble indignation at every injustice then you are a comrade of mine. - Che Guevara
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #13 on: August 30, 2010, 09:48:42 PM » |
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Funny story about my stupid ativan...i haven't had to refill them since last year so i didn't remember what i paid for them...i thought just 4 dollars. Went to Target they wanted me to pay twelve wal mart wants ten...so i gotta scrape up change to get them tomorrow. Ugh! Always somethin!
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SmilingElephant
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« Reply #14 on: August 30, 2010, 09:51:41 PM » |
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I went to the library earlier today and checked out Bipolar Disorder for Dummies. Can't make my brain stop vibrating so i can actually read it!
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