They're Leaving

[A.L.Weasley]

Okay my brother, my sister-in-law, nephew, and nephew's dad are all moving. My nephew has lived here since he was about 1 1/2. he's 6 now and he's like my little brother. Andy is the only other one here with bipolar and I will feel more alone than ever... my sister-in-law and I are pretty close and it's hard for me to think of her leaving. My nephew's biological father is like my brother. We are nerdy and talk about books together.    They are some of the most important people in the world to me and Andy and I have never lived in different towns. I  guess I am feeling a lot of hatred and can't even hardly look at them. My brother Alex, his girlfriend, and my cousin will all be leaving shortly after to California as well due to the band. I have never even lived in a different house than Alex!! I can't stand it!!This is all my depression needs. I try to hide it. I try not to say all the nasty comments I have about them moving!!! But it's hard. I wish I had someone to talk to about how it is to have all this abandonment at one time with Bipolar!! It's HELL!!! I wish I still had friends that I could just talk to and cry with, but I don't anymore! One of my favorite cousins in the world left a few months ago and my oldest brother left a few years ago. All to California! I feel like they are just so concerned with themselves that they forget about me and what all this leaving does to me! They are continuing a family down there minus me! I know it sounds selfish but my family is what I have! I don't know what I will do without the majority! I feel like everyone leaves me! I tell best friends everything and then they leave me! That's why I hardly ever open up anymore I am just now having a good cry over this! I am tired of all my bottled up emotions! I am tired of everything! These are the days when I wonder why I am still alive! Don't they know that I am here and have dreams and feelings too??? No they forget to try and get to know me because I am young I don't matter!! I hate this so much! and now with my brothers right out in the hall talking unaware I am crying because of them kills me! I am just so pissed off and sad and scared and... 

[A.L.Weasley]

Yeah kind of babbled in self pity there...     

[Paz]

Awww, no you didn't. Loss is very difficult to deal with, especially for emotional people like us. I am sorry that you are so upset, did you mention to anyone how you are feeling about their move? I am sure that they love you, so if you say something they might do what they can to help reassure you that all will be well, and maybe you can go to Calif. to visit. That might be cool.

[D13C]

I understand how you feel perhaps. I've had few friends longterm - I can get be a bit (understatement?) self-centered you know with the mania and all and know one wants to hang out with depressed people. However remember "to grow and develop you need change" Embracing change can be hard when you have got nothing solid (yourself - bipolar personality - we are out of control) to work with though . In any case either hope you get something you want or cope. D13C.

[A.L.Weasley]

Thanks for the advice. I needed that. I don't deal with change well. Hope to go to California again soon. The goodbyes at the end suck though... I want to talk to them it's just... hard.