Busy!

[Paz]

 I hope that everyone had a peaceful & relaxing summer in spite of the heatwaves, storms, and earthquake. We had a very relaxing summer, beachcombing, hiking, swimming, playing, seeing the baby animals at the 4H farm, kiteflying, blackberry picking, summer festivals & farmer's markets.

 School starts here after Labour day, this week we were very busy school shopping and just getting ready. I am sad that summer is over, but looking forward to the Fall. Our son is super excited for school to start, he can't wait to see his friends [he did see some of them over the summer].
 It's so refreshing to see the world through a child's eyes, they are so full of enthusiasm and hope.....I have been thinking that is the way we should all see the world. I know that we all have been through all kinds of difficulties [emotional,physical,job-related, etc] But wouldn't it be great if we could try and put all of that shit aside and just be full of hope & wonder? I don't know if it is because I am getting older, or because I am feeling so well, but I feel like I have a new & different outlook on life and my illness. I want to be able to feel hopeful, I want to be enthusiastic about things, instead of waking up and saying,"oh joy, another day of trying to not freak out".

 Does anyone understand what I am talking about? Or am I just a hopeless nutjob? 

[cadno]

100% understand, I'm finding after my last moment of being shall we say down that there is so much life around me and I'm missing out if I don't grab onto a little hope and enjoy what there is in my life.

Rich

[Phyllis]

I get what your saying. I guess we all get to that point in our life sometime. I'm just not there yet. I have gone through a lot of stuff this summer. I'm "recovering". I mean nothing bad has happened, just shit that has been slung my way and I'm just trying to clear it all away. Makes a big difference when you have a kid that lives with you who is turning 18. Your world changes quite a bit.

I have been keeping busy. But, history seems to have repeated itself; now that school has started I get up early and get everyone off to school, and then I am exhausted and go back to sleep. And it's not a drug induced sleep (only taking lamictal at night). It is just that I can't function well until after 2 in the afternoon. I am trying very hard to change this. It is going to take a lot of work.

Anxiety is pretty much left me for the time being. I can't remember the last time I had a panic attack or felt anxious. Which is awesome! But, I have been having some mood swings. I just try to breathe and let it go. On a few occasions I have had to take some ativan, but it's very few and far between.

It has been very hot here. in the high 90's. Thursday and Friday of last week the boys came home 2 hours early because their schools do not have air conditioning. It is supposed to go down to the 70's next week. I hope that is true. I can't wait for Fall to arrive!!!!

[goosemuffin]

I'm hearin what you're sayin!

I've been doing my damndest to not focus on my illness, and it has paid off.
Have had a couple mini episodes, but nothing to hem haw over. Off all meds and this is sucking because I think I became dependent on the ativan. All out and have been drinking to cope. I'm not drinking every day but have come around to 2-3 times per week. Not good.

Have been pretty moody with my kids and hubby, feel bad for them but they seem to take it easily so...maybe I am just over thinking that one.

The drama has restarted with my xhole because my son is back with him now for the school year, so this means I have to see x every other weekend again. He starts drama EVERY fucking time I see him.
I'm glad to see you guys posting, I've missed yall but glad you're all busy with stuff other than this dumb illness.

[Dreamline]

I've been busy trying to get into a good mind scape after all this mania.  I think its been about a whole month of clarity for me...very unusual to have this long of a normal period.  All this lithium sure does kick my ass though.