Lithium

[LadyAshley]

After an enjoyable (sarcasm) day at the doctors, I FINALLY got lithium.

Where do I even begin? My husband took the time to print off a whole slew of information on bipolar. He even took the time to highlight everything relevant. Everything I go through. He talked to her regarding this for me and she basically looked at the papers for two seconds and said "no, I don't think so. I have known you long enough to know you aren't bipolar." My rage started building.

I basically stopped her and said "why don't you think I have bipolar?" Her response "because I see bipolar patients in the emergency room and you aren't manic." I grabbed the papers and said "WHAT ABOUT HYPOMANIA? WHY DO NONE OF YOU DOCTORS HERE CONSIDER HYPOMANIA?" AND "YOU DON'T SEE ME EVERY DAY. MY HUSBAND DOES!!!"

She then had the nerve to say "well I think you are borderline." As if this makes me just a pain in the ass and a waste of space and time.

I then went on to complain about how my psychiatrist has not been doing anything to help. That she isn't even working on a diagnosis. And the doctor replied with "well I think it's because she thinks you are borderline." First off, what the fuck?! And secondly, NO NO SHE DOESN'T!!! I flat out asked her and she said "no you are not borderline. You have borderline traits but that is it." And I also saw another psychiatrist last December that said the same thing. I mentioned this and then she said "well I think it's because they focus more on the anxiety." I said "yes, I have anxiety, I am not denying that BUT I haven't even got a diagnosis for that." The doctor replied with "well anxiety is just anxiety." I said "NO IT IS NOT!!!! There are many different anxiety disorders... generalized, panic disorder, OCD... etc."

She then basically said that meds have no real proof to work anyhow and that everything depends on "me and my willing to do the work".... as if I haven't been doing anything. Umm let's see, I start my second support group tomorrow, I eat healthy, I have even started an exercise routine, I see a clinician at mental health, I go to a psychiatrist. What else can I do?

She then made excuses for the psychiatrist, saying that her job is only the medication side. She doesn't do counseling. Okay fair enough but that still doesn't excuse her for not doing work into finding a true diagnosis for me.

So, after lots of anger on my part, she FINALLY agreed to try me on lithium. Oh but she said that even if it works it doesn't necessarily mean I am bipolar. Umm yeah bullshit but anyway! I am just hoping and praying to the god I don't believe in that this works! I need this to work. I need some relief. I need salvation. I know meds are not a magic cure but they can certainly help push you in the right direction.

[Dreamline]

Lithium isn't used for anything much but bipolar, augmenting antidepressants, schizo-affective and with radioactive iodine for grave's disease.  I don't think lithium does anything unless you're bipolar (if it works for you).  It won't cure anxiety, grief, frustration, relationship issues or personality disorders...etc.  WTF?

It works for me, with side effects but worth it.  Hopefully they won't have to maintain you on a high blood level.  I'm used to it now but blah, it sucks if I think about it.

[dm52]

When I started suspecting that bipolar might have been the issue for me I suggested it to my wife. She did not think that it was the problem as she is an Emergency Nurse and sees the extreme manic cases that come in talking a million miles an hour and wanting to have their way with anything that moves. She did not see me as anything like what she saw in emergency, and this sounds a bit like your doctor's response. Well as time went on I got a bit more manic and finally had to see a shrink. He confirmed my suspicion and thought that I probably had BP2 as what I had experienced was probably more hypomania than full blown mania  (but I guess I headed that way with zoloft, but that may not really count). I am still not quite sure if I fit into BP1 or BP2. Anyway I quite liked that first Pdoc I saw and he said that in the end they are all just labels. He said he thought I had bipolar effective disorder, and this label was only really there to give some idea of how to treat my symptoms.

Anyway I guess what I am saying is that there seems to be a fairly broad spectrum of what people experience with this condition. I obviously can't say myself if you have bipolar or not, however it seems to me that your Dr is being a bit narrow minded not even considering it as a possibility. I hope the lithium works for you to improve your quality of life, but it may also help to identify what you are suffering from if it works well. All the best.

[dm52]

He said he thought I had bipolar effective disorder

just correcting a spelling mistake. Bipolar Affective Disorder. haha I know you all knew what I meant, but it is just funny reading it like that cause "effective" sounds like some disorder that makes you more efficient, rather than "Affective" which is basically just mood! 

On a side note, is it possible to edit posts... or does it just not let me cause I am still a Newbie?

[LadyAshley]

Thanks guys.

Well as I tried to explain to her yesterday-- I have been seeking treatment with her and anyone around here for 2 years and have felt like I have got nowhere and it's VERY frustrating. I mentioned how it's like anyone walking around with ANY illness and not finding answers. Never getting diagnoses. Why is it different for someone who has a mental illness? There's still so much stigma that it isn't real or something.

I'm really happy you mentioned your story dm52 because that's exactly what I think she is seeing. The EXTREME cases of mania. These doctors don't see the less severe cases and I have known many people who are diagnosed as bipolar, who said, I've never really been fully manic. I just always had hypomania, as in I'd stay up all night cleaning and stuff like that. AND one person that I talked to is like me, she said "I was never extroverted, so to have those full blown manic symptoms of going out and sleeping around and stuff like that was just not me. But it doesn't mean that I didn't get crazy with my husband and stuff like that."

It seems that so many doctors only look at the "euphoric" side of mania as well. They don't understand the irritability and rage.

Anyhow, I am just hoping this works. I took my first dose last night and it might sound crazy but I had an immediate calm come over me from it. I will let you guys know how things go within the next few days and weeks.

[Dreamline]

LOL I think you know more than your doc!  Hahaha  I'm the same BTW, not extroverted, very introverted so they may not know how fucked up I am sometimes.  Not everyone who is manic goes and sleeps around, not everyone spends their life savings...etc  Its just as individual as you are.  I've been extremely hypersexual but I have social anxiety, during mania is can be overridden and I can talk and rant all day but in another instant I paralyzed and panic stricken....total fear, can't talk.  My hypersexuality has impaired my functioning a hell of a lot...I would even have a boy-toy that I'd "abuse" the hell out of.  But sleep around, not necessarily.  I've gotten delusional and would fly down the hwy 115mph fucking bat shit crazy because I had ESP.  My pdoc never saw me doing that, but I'm DX'd BP1.  He's never seen me severely depressed but LISTENED to me tell him about it.  You need a doc that listens to you!

[dm52]

Very true Dreamline, it is so important that they listen to you. While I was probably still a little bit high when I first saw the pdoc, I reckon I was back to being pretty normal. His diagnosis was completely on what my wife and I told him, not what he saw of me in front of him.

[LadyAshley]

Yes, thank you both! Your comments are so helpful to me. Everything you are saying is exactly what I have tried to tell my doctor. I don't understand why she just won't listen. I had a friend who just got diagnosed with cyclothymia and all she did was fill out one of those questionnaires and the doctor immediately said "yup cyclothymic" and gave her meds right there. I've been fighting for nearly 2 years and they still don't believe me.

[Dreamline]

I think they should do more than make you take a test but maybe the doc gave it to her because she/he suspected cyclothymia.  Hmmmm....go to that doc. 

[LadyAshley]

Hahaha yeah! Too bad he's in the States.

[Geister]

Road trip?  lol If you had the money that might not be a bad idea actually.

[Art_girl216]

Ash, if you come out here I'll recommend you to the best doc, he's always listened to me, and he always has samples instead of forcing you to buy a drug that might or might not work.

[LadyAshley]

That would be truly amazing and so awesome about the samples of drugs!! I have talked with my husband about maybe planning a trip somewhere else to get treatment but it just costs so damn much and if I had to go into the States it would be that much more.

[graham198660]

just a warning about lithium...it caused me to gain a significant amount of weight.

[LadyAshley]

Yes, I'm well aware of that. That is one thing I really worry about. I am trying to make sure I keep a healthy diet and all that, so hopefully I won't have too many problems. I know most people say that about seroquel too but I didn't have any weight gain on it.