Hi New here and have some questions

[lostundertherain]

Hi all, was introduced to this board by bpbabbles youtube video's so I figured i'd join.  I was recently diagnosed as bipolar 1 with psychotic features.  It's a scary diagnosis to have.  I realize no one here is a doctor but those that are struggling with the disorder, i'm hoping you can help.  I had a 7 month delusional manic episode which eventually lead to a crash.  So for the past 6 months i've been in a depression with psychosis.  I've noticed my intellectual capacity has took a serious hit.  Its so bad, I can't even grasp anything and i'm just stuck on stupid.  The disorder itself is tough to deal with, but i'm worried i'm going to be permanently stuck like this.  I used to be fairly intelligent, now i'm having issues reading  .  Would it be possible if this is mood congruent? Or am I most likely going to stuck in a stupor for the rest of my life.  Thanks for the replies.  And I wish you all a great day.

[Paz]

 Hello and Welcome to the site! I am glad that you found my videos and decided to join.

 I am also Bipolar 1 and I get psychosis.....I was manic for several months before I was taken in to the Docs and the adjoining hospital. It was very scary....at first I was in denial that there was anything wrong with me. They put me on Lithium and they wanted to try Thorazine on me as well, but I refused and they put me on Seroquel and klonopin and all sorts of other things.....I am guessing that they must have you on something, which is probably why you feel so spacey. It takes awhile to get used to meds, and at first all they really want is for your mind to slow down. I remember feeling very slow & stupid for quite awhile, and then they added different meds which made me quite ill physically. I take different meds now, at lower doses, and I have a very healthy lifestyle which is VERY important for anyone who has Bipolar. Healthy living helps for your mind to be well and for you to think more clearly.

 It could be possible that your difficulty reading might be linked to your mood, depression is a real bitch and totally screws with you in ways that you wouldn't believe were possible. I think you should just go easy on yourself, you have been diagnosed with a serious Mental Illness and it takes time to get used to living with the knowledge, and it also takes lots of therapy to learn how to cope with it.

 Keep posting and hopefully we can help for you to feel a bit better about everything. Peace.

[lostundertherain]

Thanks for the reply Paz, your videos help a lot of people.  This actually starting occurring since the crash. I just feel like a shell of my former self.  I was tried on lamictal, seroquel, seroquel xr, haldol (extremely briefly), zyprexa.  I currently just started on saphris and klonopin.  I'm also extremely nervous around anyone really its just sad.  I used to be so out going and a total powerhouse in sales.  Now I refuse to leave the house.  I miss my old self and not quite sure if i'll ever get back there.  I've been suffering for so long just not sure how much longer i'll be able to take it.  Be well

[Ashes]

Hi and welcome.
I also suffer from delusions.  I am usually in a period of depression then I stop sleeping.  I start hearing voices. Usually this only last around a week for me but the manic or depressive episode can drag on for months.  I have had a period of depression that lasted a couple of years.  My last meds where lithium, Haldol and Celexa.  They seemed to work wonders for me.  I also got to a point where I wouldnt leave the house and I still have some anxiety upon going to stores but I have improved greatly.  I dont think we are ever the same after dealing with episodes like these but always remember they do pass and things will get better.  I wish you well and keep on posting.
Ashes

[gemini_4u2]

Hello,

I am also new to this site and am looking for whatever guidance may be out there.  My mother is bi-polar and has been on lithium for over 30 years.  Her body can no longer handle the medication, she is currently hospitalized with diabetes insipidus, so I had to fight like hell to get her on depakote, only 125 mg, when she was on 600 mg of lithium, she is aware, but can't talk, wants to, but is unable... like I said, I am all ears.. thanks

[Paz]

 Welcome to the site. I am so sorry to hear about your Mother and her health problems from meds. I do hope that the Doctors are able to help her to get strong enough to leave the hospital soon. Perhaps when she gets out, you could take her to a Naturopath for some health and dietary guidance? It may help her to get stronger physically, and when she feels better physically, it will really help her to feel better mentally. I used to be on lithium and a bunch  of other drugs that made me very ill physically, and I went to a Naturopath and got cleaned out and I am much better. Granted , I wasn't on Lithium for 30 years [ it was only 3 years] but maybe it will work for her as well. Diet is very important, I do hope that she feels better soon at that you can get some help & guidance in that area. (((HUGS)))

[Kensho]

hi lostundertherain... welcome to babbles website... it's not very common for a bipolar to have cognitive impairment but it does happen... or it could be just cycle specific, in other words happen during the peaks of your highs an lows, especially if your experiencing any form of psychosis... some meds can do t hat too although the PDR literature will deny that claim... i can't believe they had you on haldol, that's such a primitive, viscous drug... i was also on seroquel and zyprexa and hated them both... i gained tremendous amounts of weight on zyprexa among other things... ironically it was the only drug that controlled my voices... my idiot pdoc told me the benedryl i was using to sleep was DANGEROUS and told me i must stop using it and turned around and wrote me a prescription for 400mg of seroquel... what a frickin' imbecile... i'm supposed to use a powerful anti-psychotic to sleep!!! my wife filled the prescription because he verifies that prescriptions are filled through pharmacy records... i know he's now keeping close tabs on me now... did you know that low vitamin D has can play a role in the development of bipolar and schizophrenia? one of my new doctors discovered i was critically low on vitamin D.... now you need to understand that i would spend 2-4 hours some days walking through our woods which is plenty of time to develop vitamin D through the skin... i wondered about this for a while after being diagnosed and just this week, i found a recent tufts university study that claimed 40% of the people tested in the age group range of 20-50 years old tested deficient in vitamin D... most of them were chronically deficient... moral to this story... have your vitamin D levels checked... another good supplement to take is fish oil, it's excellent for the brain.... also 2 grams of vitamin C and a high quality, high potency multi mineral/vitamin capsule, don't be bashful taking one several times a day... vitamins and minerals are critical co-enzymes that do all kinds of crazy shit including producing certain neurotransmitters...  exercise is very important, especially aerobic exercise, it's awesome for the mind among other things... bipolars and schizos need to do whatever they can own their own... don't depend on your doctor to help you... anyway, welcome...

Kensho 

[Kensho]

hi gemini_4u2... i'm really sorry to hear about your mother, i was on 1200mg of lithium... i was on it at those levels for close to seven years but i really didn't seem to have to much problem with it, minor problems but lithium turned out to be quite harmless compared to some of the other poisons i was placed on... Paz's idea to see a naturopath is an outstanding idea... as a matter of fact, if your reading this lostundertherain i suggest you do the same... one of my new doctors is a board certified MD but shes also a licensed naturopath and licensed homeopath... in my opinion, and this is based on personal experience naturopaths are just as if not better qualified at accurately identify and treat any illness... i'm not joking around now, i'm being very serious...

a little story... our family are vegan... at one point in my wifes life she would go through these 2 to 3 week periods where she would cry at the drop of a hat and then it would clear up only to return again within one to two months and the crying started all over again and this would happen over and over... she went to our family doctor and after listening to her issues he wrote her prescription for 20mg of paxil... she was horrified, she never filled the prescription and found a new doctor and the same thing happened, 20mg of paxil so she gave up... a short time passes and i hook up with my new doctors... as time passes and cheryl see's significant improvements so she called my doctor... when the two of them met, they spent about an hour together and by the end of the visit she told my wife to dramatically cut back on all the soy products... at the time we were using soy protein powder, so beans themselves, tofu and cheryls favorite, chocolate soy milk... so we eliminated everything but the tofu and began to use rice milk and cheryl never cried again... TOO MUCH ESTROGEN!!! and here two asswipe doctors wrote her a prescription for an anti-depressant... yeah, when your mom comes home and is able to leave the house, please find a naturopath...

again, welcome...

Kensho 

[LadyAshley]

I can't answer your question but just wanted to welcome you to the group.

[disorder71]

I know exactly how you feel and I am so sick of changing medications everytime my doctor gets stumped.  You can even see the look in his eyes like "hmmm...what can I give her today".  I used to be a business powerhouse at my job.  I was vice president and I ran the company like wildfire and brought up our profits by over 120%.  I worked there for 10 years and then slowly my mind started to go and the stress that I used to just push to the side and quiet down with alcohol and some hits of weed weren't working anymore.  My mom worked there part-time as my assistant and she had to start waking me up from my desk.  I was slurring, tremors, etc...Finally the day came where I was accused of stealing from the company and they fired me.  My world was crushed.  I was bawling and holding onto the pant leg of my boss begging him not to do it and that it wasn't true, but if he really thought it, I would pay it back.  He wanted no part of it.  They fired me, gave me 3 weeks vacation pay, personal and sick day pay, 2 weeks regular pay and approved me for unemployment.  Last time I checked, crazy or not, if I was a thief I would not have been lucky enough to get all of that.  They fired me for being bipolar and how I looked/acted.  I don't dress the same anymore, I see things, I hear things, I was admitted to the crazy house for a couple of days, my husband moved out...now it is just my son (15 years old) and me trying to make it when I can't stop crying for days sometimes.  I've been on every medication and then they put me back on them.  I'm back on Lithium which is not helpful because I gained 65 lbs last time I was on it, crashed 2 cars (my last crash caused chronic back pain & drs think may have done something to my brain as well).  You can sometimes get free samples of the meds instead of paying all of the money for bottles of crap that you will take 3 of and throw out, so check on that.  As for how you feel right now, I am in that stage too.  I bought some "young adult" books thinking they were mindless and I can teach myself to read again.  It isn't working very well since I'm falling asleep from the Lithium.  I do take Luvox CR and that helps my depression alot.  You might want to look that one up.  Good luck to you and welcome as I am a newbie myself just trying to find a way to survive.

[Geister]

Hi all, was introduced to this board by bpbabbles youtube video's so I figured i'd join.  I was recently diagnosed as bipolar 1 with psychotic features.  It's a scary diagnosis to have.  I realize no one here is a doctor but those that are struggling with the disorder, i'm hoping you can help.  I had a 7 month delusional manic episode which eventually lead to a crash.  So for the past 6 months i've been in a depression with psychosis.  I've noticed my intellectual capacity has took a serious hit.  Its so bad, I can't even grasp anything and i'm just stuck on stupid.  The disorder itself is tough to deal with, but i'm worried i'm going to be permanently stuck like this.  I used to be fairly intelligent, now i'm having issues reading  .  Would it be possible if this is mood congruent? Or am I most likely going to stuck in a stupor for the rest of my life.  Thanks for the replies.  And I wish you all a great day.

I know exactly how you feel, I used to be an avid reader, at one point could go through multiple books at a time. Now I can hardly read anything, it's really upsetting. I wish I could help but so far I've been that way for half a year and it hasn't gotten any better. Maybe it's the medication you're taking? Because I know when I started taking meds it made my concentration a hell of a lot worse. Welcome to the group and I hope we can help you out.

[Dreamline]

Yeah lithium fucks with your ability to read big time.  It doesn't really make me tired just uncoordinated as hell, shaky and I have CRS real bad.  What is your blood level?  Mine is 0.9-1.4 (I take 5 one day 6next day, cheaper than 5-1/2) so its probably 1.2.  1.4 was too much for me so lowering it slightly made a difference.

For the reading, I started taking krill oil IQ by mercola everyday...I can read a lot better.

[Kensho]

lithium is the only med i'm taking and that's only because the required blood tests would reveal i was using it. i read one book at a time and i read about 20-30 pages a day... if i wasn't doing other shit i could now go through a 200-250 page book in a week end, but alas, too much other shit to do... i do believe you when you say it trips U over because it seems to do the same in many, i had terrible problems reading before... i just got done reading a killer book on how to combat all forms of anxiety and PTSD... if you know anything about PTSD you'll know it can be a real problem to treat... the author of the book is the father of somatic psychology which is the branch of psychology that saved my life, literally... 

ohh, my lithium levels have remained 1.0 every single time i was tested, not one single time did i ever receive even a 1.01 or a .99... very weird, even my asswipe pdoc mentioned it was very unusual... maybe the lab that does the blood work is doing something wrong. but to have the swings you're having Dreamline is pretty wild to be honest... from all that i have read blood levels should pretty much stabilize at some point as long as nothing has changed, like body weight, diet, health issues, shit like that

Kensho 

[macrent2]

Scary diagnosis in putting it lightly! A 7 month manic episode with delusions would take its toll on most anyone, then to suffer from a crash and depression for 6 months (with psychosis) is even more terrifying. My first manic episode lasted a couple of months. I had always been depressed since my teenage years and was living by myself. So my family and friends thought that the energy I had was a positive sign and meant I was getting well. It was my professors at school that noticed a drastic change in me (manic writing and missing classes) and I caught it before I became totally out of control. I now just suffer from periods of lighter depression and hypomania. That is probably just going to be the way my life is from now on.

Anyway, ever since being on the different medications for Bipolar I Disorder I have noticed that I seem to be much more apathetic and procrastination is a common occurrence. I used to get my assignments done days before they were due and now it can be the day to hours to before they are due. An example is signing up for my college classes this semester. School starts tomorrow and I will be signing up for them tomorrow because I put it off the past 3 weeks and don't remember what classes I should be taking (so I have to ask my adviser a second time). I used to be on time or at places way before I had to be there. Now, I am often walking in just as it is time to be there or late. I also am reading far less than I used to because I can read pages 2 or 3 times before "it sets in". My short term memory is shot and I have a hard time hand writing things (a big problem in some of my classes). The funny thing is that I often will forget what I just have done (like taking medication, reading an article for class, and even watching a movie) but hours later I might remember everything. 

I told my doctor but he said it is the price that I may have to pay for having an even mood. I used to get A's and B's now I get B's and C's and even have had a few D's.