some people get caught up in their own drama sometimes and are unable to help others in need... these people are weak psychologically and can't handle any negative energy from someone in real need... at this point in time i'm dealing with a situation involving one of my friends who hung in there with me when i was in a bad way... for the past two months he's been depressed about a relationship breakup... he comes over often, calls to talk to cheryl or i and emails me... he just can't accept the fact that the relationship is over... my wife went so far as to call trish to see where her head is at and she had been in another relationship over a month already and told cheryl she told andy twice when he called... the day before thanksgiving he was here for about 2 hours and the entire time he talked about nothing but trish... it's beyond the point of being mentally draining and it's now becoming physical... it breaks my heart to see him like this, i grabbed him by the shoulders, looked him square in the eyes and said, andy, it's over man, it's over, you have to figure out a way to let this go... and he just stood there looking at me, he was fucking bumming big time... he never said i know or you're right... nothing... then he started to talk about maybe he should go tuna fishing and he started talking about a new fishing reel he had that he never used, i was nice, we're getting somewhere and within 5 minutes he figured out a way to talk about trish again... it didn't take me long to interrupt him and say, andy, do you realize what you just did? and he looked at me puzzled and said what are you talking about? i said, you went from deep sea tuna fishing to trish in a few heart beats... what the fuck is up with this man? why are you doing this to yourself? and with that he left my house without saying a good bye or anything... i haven't heard from him since... i'm sure he must be embarrassed in some way, after all the encouragement and positive vibes i tried to throw his way, so i'm going to call him tomorrow... what really bother me the most is that he was the primary one who was there for me... that's why it's fucking God damn important to me that i figure out a way to reach him... because i owe him...
anyway another interesting "friend" issue i have right now is an interesting one... one of my other friends who stood by was talking with the very first person who bailed on me... in conversation my good friend mentioned me and how well i'm doing and she asked her do you think Kensho would want to see me? she told her i really couldn't say to be honest, when i see him i'll ask... you have to understand, i first met her during advanced school and was always bailing her ass out... one night she invited a few of us to join her at some party... she got drunk of course and at one point i watched these two dudes helping her up the staircase so i find my friends and we head upstairs going from room to room till we finally found them... she was completely undressed and on the bed with one of the dudes humping her hard and the other asshat is standing along side the bed looking at them and jerking off... i screamed get the fuck off her you're raping her, over and over and finally told him that i'm calling the police right now and he immediately got off her... we dressed her brought her to her room... the following day she didn't remember shit and it was only until one of her friends told her what happened the night before and apparently she fucking lost it... she found me and hugged me and at that point we became very tight and we remained friends ever since... this is a girl i cosigned a car for because she had lousy credit... this is a girl i was always lending money to, most of which she never repaid... this is a girl who would always make passes at me whenever she was drunk and i always declined even though i was somewhat attracted to her because i never wanted to take advantage of a situation... she was at our wedding... i could go on and on... and now she wants to see me again... this was about two weeks ago and i've been sitting on this... deep down, of course i would love to see her again and i know i can forgive her but i'm not quite ready for this quite yet... i hope you can understand...
i'm feeling a little bummed out right now and i apologize for highjacking your thread, that wasn't my intentions... i started off by trying to point out that i'm hanging in there for andy and that your friends should be hanging in there for you... there's something weak about the nature of your friends real feelings towards you... you deserve better friends... it's a shame they're treating you this way...
Kensho
