People in Chat Now BP Babble Come as you are
ENTER CHAT or REGISTER
You must register to use the chat rooms.
Bipolar Chat & Forum
May 24, 2012, 07:45:54 AM
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News: Make money from your Website or Blog with BidVertiser
 
  HOME   FORUM   Help Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Friends and bipolar  (Read 256 times)
Dreamline
Freak of art.
Global Moderator
Intergalactic Superstar Poster
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1687



« on: November 26, 2011, 10:35:22 AM »

This has been said a thousand times but you know how its is...as long as you're entertaining and fun to be around you have friends.  But as soon as you get depressed, too manic or mixed they abandon you.  I can understand somebody getting burned out, esp when I'm manic...but to not give a fuck when I'm depressed and need to talk to them....I mean really what the fuck it is with people?  I have 2 friendships other than people here and my dog.  Those two are under question...although I think the answer is to move on.  I'm ok with that, I just wish I would have some real friends.  Being alone sucks but its not worth holding onto something that isn't there.  Where do you meet cool people other than on the internet?  How do you meet them when you have social anxiety?  How is it its easier for me to talk to guys than girls?

Those 2 friendships, I didn't even fuck them up, I called one on her shit and the other, she fucked that up.
Logged

The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
Kensho
Sr. Member
****
Offline Offline

Posts: 364



« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2011, 04:29:56 PM »

some people get caught up in their own drama sometimes and are unable to help others in need... these people are weak psychologically and can't handle any negative energy from someone in real need... at this point in time i'm dealing with a situation involving one of my friends who hung in there with me when i was in a bad way... for the past two months he's been depressed about a relationship breakup... he comes over often, calls to talk to cheryl or i and emails me... he just can't accept the fact that the relationship is over... my wife went so far as to call trish to see where her head is at and she had been in another relationship over a month already and told cheryl she told andy twice when he called... the day before thanksgiving he was here for about 2 hours and the entire time he talked about nothing but trish... it's beyond the point of being mentally draining and it's now becoming physical... it breaks my heart to see him like this, i grabbed him by the shoulders, looked him square in the eyes and said, andy, it's over man, it's over, you have to figure out a way to let this go... and he just stood there looking at me, he was fucking bumming big time... he never said i know or you're right... nothing... then he started to talk about maybe he should go tuna fishing and he started talking about a new fishing reel he had that he never used, i was nice, we're getting somewhere and within 5 minutes he figured out a way to talk about trish again... it didn't take me long to interrupt him and say, andy, do you realize what you just did? and he looked at me puzzled and said what are you talking about? i said, you went from deep sea tuna fishing to trish in a few heart beats... what the fuck is up with this man? why are you doing this to yourself? and with that he left my house without saying a good bye or anything... i haven't heard from him since... i'm sure he must be embarrassed in some way, after all the encouragement and positive vibes i tried to throw his way, so i'm going to call him tomorrow... what really bother me the most is that he was the primary one who was there for me... that's why it's fucking God damn important to me that i figure out a way to reach him... because i owe him...

anyway another interesting "friend" issue i have right now is an interesting one... one of my other friends who stood by was talking with the very first person who bailed on me... in conversation my good friend mentioned me and how well i'm doing and she asked her do you think Kensho would want to see me? she told her i really couldn't say to be honest, when i see him i'll ask... you have to understand, i first met her during advanced school and was always bailing her ass out... one night she invited a few of us to join her at some party... she got drunk of course and at one point i watched these two dudes helping her up the staircase so i find my friends and we head upstairs going from room to room till we finally found them... she was completely undressed and on the bed with one of the dudes humping her hard and the other asshat is standing along side the bed looking at them and jerking off... i screamed get the fuck off her you're raping her, over and over and finally told him that i'm calling the police right now and he immediately got off her... we dressed her brought her to her room... the following day she didn't remember shit and it was only until one of her friends told her what happened the night before and apparently she fucking lost it... she found me and hugged me and at that point we became very tight and we remained friends ever since... this is a girl i cosigned a car for because she had lousy credit... this is a girl i was always lending money to, most of which she never repaid... this is a girl who would always make passes at me whenever she was drunk and i always declined even though i was somewhat attracted to her because i never wanted to take advantage of a situation... she was at our wedding... i could go on and on... and now she wants to see me again... this was about two weeks ago and i've been sitting on this... deep down, of course i would love to see her again and i know i can forgive her but i'm not quite ready for this quite yet... i hope you can understand...

i'm feeling a little bummed out right now and i apologize for highjacking your thread, that wasn't my intentions... i started off by trying to point out that i'm hanging in there for andy and that your friends should be hanging in there for you... there's something weak about the nature of your friends real feelings towards you... you deserve better friends... it's a shame they're treating you this way...

Kensho  Mushroom
Logged

"it is possible to undergo a profound crisis involving non-ordinary experiences and to perceive it as pathological or psychiatric when in fact it may be more accurately and beneficially defined as a spiritual emergency..." ~~~ Stanislav Grof MD, PhD a passage from "Spiritual Emergency"
Dreamline
Freak of art.
Global Moderator
Intergalactic Superstar Poster
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1687



« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2011, 06:56:07 PM »

Don't worry if you were really going to hijack my thread the "patriot" act would have prevented you...sorry your bummed about Andy.  I think he left because may after what you said, he realized (without admitting) that it was indeed over.  Now he is grieving his loss on that acceptance. 

That guy Andy has a striking resemblance to this guy Ed I knew...his wife Trish broke up with him and I don't know if he ever chose to move on to this day.  Weird. 

Yeah these 2 I know just make no sense.  Like (she didn't say this exactly) "Oh, sorry your so depressed I feel so bad, but I just gotta go workout and call one of my other friends to BS and my mother"  Yeah, that was more real to her I guess...she even said "I need to go call some of my friends who live here"  She always says she wants to meet me, tells me I'm so cool and on of her closest friends...I don't believe it anymore, I think I was entertainment.  Before I let her go, she offered to maybe send me an email within a week to see if I'm ok.  Days, later after the risperidone took effect, I wrote her an email, what its like to be bipolar and get blown off when you need someone.  I was actually kind, concise and left it open for her to respond...she has not yet...but sent two heartwarming forwarded emails about friendship though.

My BFF whom I have known since 5th grade I dunno...I feel like she has learned some manipulative tactics that are not compatible with our friendship.  In other words I don't tolerate it...I don't take any shit.  I'm not in the state of mind where I would wish to physically talk to her so I will wait until the day I have my feet upon the earth to talk to her.  What she did was this: she knew I was mixed and stressing out...I decided to take her to a movie with a gift card.  I expect nothing in return, I wanted her company, she knew that too.  Before we went to the movie she said she had enough money she could take us out to this Mexican place.  I accepted her invitation, it was agreed.  Before and during the movie she texted this guy (she has ADHD) and I didn't think much because I was watching to movie.  Then, at the restaurant I told her I was going to get some beer with money my mom gave me (not enough to eat off of).  She said what she was getting and drinks she wanted.  I thought cool, she has money money but I'm still buying my own drinks.  Then she asked "Oh, how are you going to pay for yours?"  I said "I told you I'm buying my drinks, I wouldn't ask you to buy that"  She said no "how are you paying for your food?"   Yeah.  I swear to god.  I was in a mixed state, I was stoned on codeine, I was fucking hungry, I didn't want to go home...any other time I would have said look you said you were paying and gone home, her with me or not..that's bullshit.  So I ate and drank and then went to a bookstore.  She constantly texted the guy so I fucking ignored her mostly and went home after that. So there's a lot of bullshit there.
Logged

The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
LadyAshley
--Ashley
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 151


lady-ashley@hotmail.com
WWW Email
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2011, 05:54:18 PM »

I personally, have not had any friends in person for over 4 years now. All my friends are online and since I've left Facebook that number is down to pretty well zero. I've come to realize that most friendships are artificial. People only want you there when you are "fun" to be around, like you said. Not a single person takes the time to email me to see how I am since leaving Facebook. Pretty well all the people I talk with now are those on YouTube and occasionally on Tumblr-- and here of course.

So many people only want you around when they need something but as soon as the tables are turned, they could care less. It's really upsetting to me. I know I am a handful but what about all my good qualities? I'm loyal, I'm generous, kind, strong, passionate. I give my heart and soul to every relationship I am in.

I am sorry this kind of turned into a personal rant but I guess my point is, I know what it's like and I know what you are going through. I have no clue how to make friends in person because of my anxiety and my constantly mood fluctuations.
Logged

“Real revolution begins at learning. If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.” --Tim McIlrath
Dreamline
Freak of art.
Global Moderator
Intergalactic Superstar Poster
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1687



« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2011, 06:05:23 PM »

LOL this thread is the place for personal rants too, look at our posts.  No worries. 

Yeah the anxiety is a real killer for me too...everything is so fucking awkward...that's when I do go around people.  Mood swings don't help it.
Logged

The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
LadyAshley
--Ashley
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 151


lady-ashley@hotmail.com
WWW Email
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2011, 06:38:17 PM »

Yes exactly.

None of my disorders are diagnosed but I know I have social anxiety and I'm also quite certain I have panic disorder with agoraphobia. Oh and then the bipolar on top of that. Nothing is easy for me. My whole life is a big awkward mess haha!
Logged

“Real revolution begins at learning. If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.” --Tim McIlrath
Dreamline
Freak of art.
Global Moderator
Intergalactic Superstar Poster
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1687



« Reply #6 on: November 29, 2011, 10:53:23 AM »

I got DX'd bipolar 1 quickly but being hypomanic at my first pdoc appointment helped that out.  But the social anxiety/panic wasn't Dx'd until a few months ago.  My 1st therapist always acted like I was exaggerating or something, she didn't listen, she had an attitude.  That made things very hard and I didn't get Dx'd with social anxiety...in fact every time I started telling her about a panic attack she didn't want to hear it.  WTF.  Sorry it still pisses me off.
Logged

The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
LadyAshley
--Ashley
Full Member
***
Offline Offline

Posts: 151


lady-ashley@hotmail.com
WWW Email
« Reply #7 on: December 31, 2011, 03:49:27 PM »

I honestly feel like every doctor I have seen thinks I'm over-exaggerating or being a hypochondriac or something. It's really frustrating because WE know how we feel.
Logged

“Real revolution begins at learning. If you’re not angry, you’re not paying attention.” --Tim McIlrath
Dreamline
Freak of art.
Global Moderator
Intergalactic Superstar Poster
*****
Offline Offline

Posts: 1687



« Reply #8 on: December 31, 2011, 05:03:04 PM »

Yeah I fucking hate that...its one thing to awfulize what we're going through and be melodramatic...but when yes we really DO feel that bad....BELIEVE IT ASHOLES!!!
Logged

The judges head spins confused.
For order is just a center pivot.
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Theme created by Egad Community. Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.9 | SMF © 2006-2007, Simple Machines LLC Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!