Wish my Meds would make it all go away

[Jennie]

I've been going through so much this past week. Having to face my past, and worry too much about the future. Haven't been eating or sleeping well. I can tell him a downer. I"m feeling so depressed, not even wanting to be around anyone, including my 10 month old son. Which kills me! He's my world, but I'm so caught up in this cycle that I can't even be the Mother I should right now. My Mother in law is helping me out right now, so don't freak out and call, CPS. -.-

When I first started my meds, on the very first day I felt great. A few weeks ago, to now, I feel like my old self. Depressed, anxious, and apathetic. I don't know if my stress overwhelmed me and the meds, or I need a higher dose. Yes, I know I have to face my problems to go anywhere with this, but that's just the thing. Facing this problem has no good ending. I wish the meds could just take alll the pain away. Make me stop thinking. Make me an overly hyper old lady, I don't care. I just want the pain to go away completely for once...

[Dreamline]

I can relate to that I was doing real well on mine and just getting used to being on a even keel....then stress which caused a mixed episode.  Damn it feels like starting all over again.  I sometimes feel like I just can't walk my dog because I just hate doing it.  Nobody can help me with him so I have to.  Ironically having him saves me because I a forced to do something.

[Kensho]

i can relate too... i've been on alot of meds and only three were somewhat effective but it didn't takevery long for that effectiveness to wear off... total bummer afterwords...

Kensho 

[Jennie]

Glad I"m not the only one..
It is a horrible feeling. and yes, it does feel like starting over.
Tossing and turning. Anxious in my sleep. Waking up to every noise. Falling asleep for a little bit, only to wake up again.
I"m going to ask my Doc to slowly pull me off the meds. Can't afford them anymore. Before, of course I wanted to get out of this cycle, but it didn't matter as much before because all I had to live for was myself. Now, I have my son and husband to live for. Which makes me feel even worse for being like this. I feel so guilty for being like this, and I'm so scared of falling apart.

[Jennie]

I woke up hopeless. Feeling dead, or if I closed my eyes, I would slip away from this Earth. I know it sounds horrible. Yet again, another dilemma where my emotions fuck up my train of thinking.

[Kensho]

what medications are you on right now?

Kensho 

[LadyAshley]

what medications are you on right now?

Kensho 

I was going to ask the same thing. 

[Jennie]

Lamictal and Atarax.
Which is about 410$ but with my bills and expenses lately, that's too much. and that price is with the generic!

[Dreamline]

Holy shit...I used tot take Lamictal but it was only 20-30$ per month generic from Costco.  Why don't you talk to your pdoc about the costs of your meds....and the fact that its not working.  Mine always tells me about how much they are and makes sure I can afford it first.

[Kensho]

(part one)
wow... $410.00 for up to date meds is ridiculous in my opinion, let alone generic versions... i didn't know what atarax was so i looked it up and it turns out to be a powerful antihistamine created in the 1950's... besides being used to treat allergy "symptoms" it's also used to treat eczema, hyperalgesia, motion sickness-induced nausea, and insomnia, as well as notably for the treatment of anxiety and tension... it was discovered it is an effective sedative, hypnotic, analgesic, and tranquilizer, it shares almost none of the abuse, dependence, addiction, and toxicity  potential of other drugs used for the same range of therapeutic reasons...  because of some of these qualities atarax has is "off label" used with opioid analgesics to increase the pain-killing ability of a given dose of opioid, allowing the doctor to be able to reduce the amount of opiates needed to stop a given level of pain, and/or preempt some side effects of opiates like itching, nausea, and vomiting and possible addiction... it comes with alot of known side effects including convulsions, confusion and insomnia to name a FEW... i was on 300 mg of lamictal as a mood stabilizer... it's an anticonvulsant... out of all the medications i was on lamictal seemed to be one of the safest, i'll give it that much but it was total ineffective at stabilizing my moods...

[Kensho]

(part two)
eleven months ago i made major changes in my life... i went vegan, started to use supplements and began exercising and within 3 months my anxiety, depression and mania completely disappeared... COMPLETELY... even though i wasn't 100% because i still had episodes of hallucinations, delusions, paranoia among other issues i still knew i was onto something huge and i tried to share it with others... back then i wasn't really familiar with this site but i tired to share this on others... i received a HUGE amount of indifference, people seemed to be happy taking their medications even though they would complain about how ineffective they were or the side effects they caused... it blew my fucking mind!!!! at that point in time only two people wanted to know more out of at least the thousand i had reached... schizophrenia(dot)com banned me and not only did they ban me they deleted both threads i had started on the subject... i know this because my sister laura and i logged in on her computer under a new handle and could not locate either of them... like i said, during the time i was posting i was challenged by many but on schizo com an administrator added her two cents in telling me the information was ridiculous and that i need to stop telling people medications are bad when she knows they are good... i pointed out that not once had i ever told anyone to stop taking their meds and she dropped it... days later i was banned... if any of you are familiar with schizo com they are the worlds largest schizo site and they tow party lines... they have a sister website for bipolar called pendulum(dot)org... if you subscribe to the newsletters from both of these websites it's loaded with information about medications... they are sucking the ass of big pharma as non profit organizations... i wonder how much money those in charge are making and if  they're receiving any support from drug companies... i would bet the fucking ranch they are... non profits make some people very very rich most tomes..

[Kensho]

(part three)
OK, sorry for rant, i'm pissed now but i'm gonna continue... in a nut shell orthomolecular medicine, i'll call it OM from this point on, discovered many things about ALL mental illness... one of the primary ones were all people with mental illness have allergies, from mild to severe... allergies can effect people literally hundreds of ways but most doctors let alone people are only aware of obvious like skin rashes and runny noses to name a few... but OM has found that allergies play a great role in hundreds of diseases by compromising the immune system... a person can have allergies and remain unaware of it their entire life but below the surface it's taking its toll... things like muscle aches and stiffness, migraines, depression, anxiety among hundreds of other inward and outward symptoms can be directly linked to allergies... yes! anxiety and depression... it turns out how we react to allergens is determined by something called genetic predisposition... in people with mental illness the allergens effect us in a number of ways but the primary one is it causes mild to servere inflammation of the brain itself... sure, the brain can still think but it doesn't work optimally any longer... this inflammation causes excitability, depression, mania, psychosis, i could go on... the brain is powerful... but it's also vulnerable... and the sad part about all of this, is they know, many of the newer psyche drugs contain antihistamines, like seroquel for instance... they are fucking scumbags... to them, we're future revenue... if they cured mental illness an entire industry in health care would be wiped out... we're talking tens of billions of dollars are a stake and they know this... an they're going to fight tooth and nail to discredit alternative methods because there is no real money in it for them... i don't know if any of you have been following my progress with my new doctors but my last post was a confrontation i had with my psychiatrist... i could tell by the way he behaved that he knows the truth... fucking disgusting... 

[Kensho]

(part four)
allergy tests done today can produce a false positive or worse yet a false negative... many people receive word from their doctor yet continue to live with symptoms... IgE was discovered in the 1930's... that's just one marker, there are over one million of them... progressive MD's are now testing for IgG and IgA, it's cutting edge... IgG seems to be the most important between the two... unfortunately like IgE IgG and IgA panel tests can produce false positives and false negatives too... it has recently been determined that IgG may play a significant role in the development and proliferation of close to two hundred different diseases... IgE, IgG and IgA panel tests can cost between $200-400 per panel... that's alot of money to spend for something that might not be accurate...

so what does my girl Jennie  do... she avoids all dairy because dairy because OM determined that dairy is the number ONE food allergen out there... you don't need milk contrary to popular milk mustache belief... you can get complete proteins from quality animal sources and well over a dozen vegetable sources including mixed beans, legumes among many others... besides the usda established maximum limits for hormones, antibiotics, blood and pus among others to be in our milk... what the fuck is all that shit doing? who wants to drink puss? think i'm kidding? if you need more info on it i'll dig it up for you... great replacements for milk are almond milk and rice milk, they're delicious... you can add soy milk later once you're feeling better... the reason why i didn't add it now is because some people are allergic to it... by adding it later you can judge for yourself by remaining self aware... if it gives you any problems stop using it altogether, if it works for you you just found the highest source of complete protein out there... then you could start using tofu, chocolate flavored soy milk , which is YUMMY!, tempeh... you can also start using soy protein power and blend a shake every so often, they come in all kinds of flavors... the skies the limit, just don't overdo soy too much because it caused a hormonal imbalance in my wife, which was easily corrected by merely reducing the amount of soy intake... eat mixed vegetables, the more variety, the better... canned vegetables suck, all their important life enzymes have been cooked or processed out of them... besides, the plastic coating on the inside of all cans releases a form of estrogen into the foods that have been linked to cancer... eat plenty of mixed fruits... the fructose in the fruit is bound in the fiber of the fruit so it's released slowly... the vast majority of the fructose is converted into glucose but a small amount is used by the body to increase cell protein transport... in layman terms it enhances the movement of nourishment into the cell and moves waste out of the cell through its membrane... all our energy comes directly from cellular activity... all of it... people feel fatigued all the time because of cellular dysfunction... the cells mitochondria are unable to keep up with the bodies energy needs... that's it right there, that's the beginning of disease...

[Kensho]

(part five)
eliminate all or as much as possible processed foods... they're ridiculously high in omega6 fatty acids which is causing all the illness we see today because the body needs a proportional relationship between omega3 and omega6...  processed foods are also empty calories... a cereal box will claim that this cereal has been fortified with vitamins and minerals... the problem here is they use several synthetic forms that the body can't utilize properly if it can utilize them at all...  be careful with grains...  pay attention in the beginning to what you eat and symptoms that may occur within hours to as long as a day later because these types of reaction time can vary... avoid wheat like it was the black plague, it is right behind milk for discovered food allergens... please avoid wheat... buy yourself whole grain bread from a health food store... most health food stores sell bread without wheat because it's such a common allergen but don't assume anything, either read the label or ask someone there... eggs aren't important to eat, as i said you can get proteins elsewhere and the eggs produced today deficient... the poor chickens are under so much stress to produce and there fed basically the same shit cattle are to fight off disease and gain high outputs... things like hormones and antibiotics that are fed to chickens show up in their eggs... you already know what meat contains but i'm not asking you to stop eating meat, that's your decision but stay away from deli meats like pepperoni, salami, liverwurst and processed meats... you can eat ham, turkey and eat roast beef cautiously...

eliminate peanut butter at first and reintroduce it later once you're feeling better if you really like it, if it messes with you, stop it, if it works, cool...

completely avoid caffeine in tea or coffee or any other beverage you drink... caffeine can set off anxiety within minutes in some people... i know this for a fact because my wife and i have a friend who could go off the deep end if she drinks a cup of tea... it's freaky how badly she reacts to caffeine... i love jasmine tea and mint tea too... for your anxiety you can drink 1-2 cups of valerian tea in the evening or during the day if you can afford to be a little chill... sweeten it with honey because it is a bit bitter...

[Kensho]

(part six)
sugar is terrible... for anyone let alone someone with mental illness... OM discovered the metabolites from sugar conversion are one of the worst brain allergens out there, not to mention the metabolic disorders it creates... it's completely void of nutrition... in all seriousness now, if sugar were discovered today and properly tested, it would never reach the consumer market, it's that bad for us... sucrose metabolites are used by cancer to grow... red meat metabolites do the same thing, but i digress... in place of sugar you can sweeten your stevia or honey... stevia is a powerful sweetener, you'll be amazed at how little you need to gain sweetness... it's derived from a cactus i believe...

YOU MUST AVOID SUGAR!

i feel using supplements is very important in the beginning at least... once you're felling better you can minimize your supplement use... everybody should be using supplements... world class athletes use supplements out the ass because they feel they gain an edge using them... vitamins are important coenzymes, the body uses them for hundreds of metabolic processes... the same with minerals...here's what i started with...

b complex capsules take two twice a day... once in the morning and again about two hours before dinner...
vitamin c capsules 1000mg taken 3 times throughout the day...
mineral capsules take 4 in the morning before breakfast...
fish oil capsule very important for the brain... especially for someone with mental illness...
omega3 fatty acids capsule take one a day...
vitamin d capsule 1000IU's take one a day...

there's so much more i could recommend but this is a great place to start...

i also used and would recommend you use 5-HTP take 200mg-300mg one hour before bed... it helps the body produce serotonin... it's a direct precursor to serotonin as a matter of fact... anyone reading this beware... you shouldn't take 5-HTP if your using an ssri or an maoi antidepressant because it's possible that it could induce serotonin syndrome which could be deadly, that's how fucked up antidepressants are... in all honesty though, i have read people's posts in other forums where they claimed they used it with no problems at all... i just feel it's necessary to put that warning out there...

i would also use valerian root capsules one hour before bed... after using this for a while you'll begin feeling a sense of well being throughout your day... it'll help you cope better