Wish my Meds would make it all go away

[Kensho]

(part seven)
exercise is very important... i know at first it'll probably be impossible for you to push yourself but as you start feeling better i want you to start doing aerobic form exercise, at least 30 minutes a day if you can do it... aerobic exercise trains the heart, improves blood circulation while at rest, helps maintain normal serotonin levels, increases dopamine levels and stimulates the lymphatic system which is crucial for optimal health...

you have to eat... you can't be here and there when it comes to eating because it's the only way you're going to be able to develop a clear mind once again... Buddha once said: "to keep the body in good health is a duty... otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear"... Buddha was not only cool, he was always way ahead of the curve...

i'm 41 and i physically feel like i'm in my teens again... i'm not exaggerating... admittedly i have been having some troubles sleeping sometimes lately but i see one of my doctors in early december... hopefully she'll have some ideas...

you mentioned you have troubles with your past... i have no idea what's troubling you but i had alot of shit on my mind too and i'm going to post the method i was taught that helped clear my head and give me all the motivation i needed to make the changes that led to a pretty significant recovery... i have to hit the road right now so i'll post it later for you...

Kensho 

[Jennie]

Thanks for all the info Kensho. I took everything into consideration. I understand what you're saying. It just depends on the person, some people are better with meds, some without. I know that aside from my meds, I'd be alot better if I had a better diet, but it's sooooo harrdddd!! I love eating unhealthy. Sugar, spicy, salty, fatty! I love love love it. It's like I"m addicted to street drugs. I always tell myself, ah yes, I"ll start to eat better tomorrow, but it's hard when no one in the family does. When we have dinner I see what they're eating so I say, "ah fuck it."

As for the exercise, that's really not an issue for me, I already enjoy doing that. I"ll look into everything you said, and I'll be more likely to do more positive things for myself when I get out of the current predicament I"m in. Thanks again.

[Ashes]

Are you feeling any better now?  I was as you described for 3 years either depressed or hypo manic but mostly depressed.  I am feeling better now I hope you start feeling better also.
Ashes

[dm52]

Hope things are getting better for you Jennie. Not sure how quickly Lamictal kicks in. You said that you felt great straight after starting the meds. Not sure if they would really kick in that fast. But I guess you have been on it for a decent time now so should have had some effect.

I am still on Lamictal (150mg a day, generic lamotrigine actually, mine is made by Sandoz). I also do not find it that expensive, about $60AUD for 56 100mg tabs. Not too bad for my fairly low dose anyway. Bit more expensive than Seroquel was because it was on the PBS list (government subsidised), and lamotrigine is only approved for epilepsy here not bipolar, so you are on your own with cost. Don't know what Atarax costs though, it could be the pricey one out of your meds.

 It is hard for me to tell whether the lamotrigine is really working or not. When I started it I had already weened myself of Seroquel and was feeling okay. Just got scared that things would not last that way if I did not get back on some medication. It is probably about 4 months later and still fairly normal with no side effects. So I guess it could be working for me - seems to be a longer stable period than I would expect if I was not on meds. Also hard to say as a lot of things have changed in my life since my last bad times - moved locations and jobs (that was a major source of stress for me before). 

Anyway hang in there - hope things improve soon.

[Jennie]

Hey you guys. Thanks for the concern. I'm doing much better now. I admit I still get depressed quite often, but it's not suppose to cure it or make it go away, it just manages it I guess. I think when I said that right when I took it I felt better, it wasn't the meds, I think it was the adrenaline rush in my head, making me feel great, or possibly having a manic episode for once. (I get more depressive episodes than manic)

As for the lamictal, I've been taking it consistently now. I was able to talk to MHMR about me not being able to get insurance, lucky me, MHMR offered to pay for everything! I"m so happy, otherwise it would have cost me another arm and leg, being that my doc just upped my meds another 100mg.
Kind of confused with her actions though. The reason she upped my meds was because while I was on my medication I didn't know I was already almost 2 months pregnant. Of course when I found out I was shocked, and extremely depressed, because I knew I couldn't keep the baby, due to being on the lamictal the whole time of conception and gestation. I had to have surgery to remove the baby, and they were so insensitive about it. I would have though with all that, my doc would have sent me to a grief counselor or something, but she just upped my meds. =\

Still kind of getting over that, but everything else is better I suppose. Sorry for always being a downer guys..

[Dreamline]

:-(  Yeah you should have some therapy for that.  I have never done it but hear it is a really hard thing to go through when done.  Its a loss that you feel guilty for.  I have mixed feelings about that issue and know that people who do that do as well, so I can imagine.

[dm52]

Wow, sorry to hear about all of that Jennie... sounds like a horrible experience. That's one thing I did not think about with the lamictal, being a male, was the complications with pregnancy.
Do not apologise at all for being a downer... sounds like you have been dealing with some heavy stuff.