Useless

[Thoctar]

Sometimes when my girlfriend has one of her episodes where she is really bitchy and aggressive I feel useless….When I try to help her she just lashes out at me for it and scrutinizes my every move….when I try to act normal and reasonable I make a mistake and she grabs it and tears it to pieces. Also, I have this verbal tic where instead I will sniffle a lot or in some cases throw up when I´m sad instead of crying. She´ll constantly worry whenever I sniff or anything of the sort normally when I am perfectly happy and then say she´s trained to hear it, and when I am actually sad and making that sound she seems to not hear or ignore it. Which is it, hearing or ignoring? I want to help her and I feel horrible for having these issues, I can´t help it, I try my best….but if I were to say that phrase it would just make her mad….I want to help her…

[Jennie]

I feel for you. I really do. I know first hand the shit I put all my partners through in our relationships. of course I didn't know I was doing it, while I was, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. But when I'm in an episode, there's so many thoughts and emotions running through my body at once, I can't grasp them all, I become overwhelmed and most of the time it comes out as anger, and I'm sure it's the same way for her. There are occasions where I lash out on my husband for something so stupid and little. When my episode is over, I think back and feel so bad about it.
 My point is, I feel for you, but try to be strong. When she's in her episode, she's almost not conscience. and I"m sure she's not ignoring you, it's that she's so caught up with her own thoughts and emotions she really doesn't see much of yours. She wants everything to be about her in the moment. She wants all of that negativity inside her to be gone, but she can't stop it, so she becomes angry at everything. Don't lash back, as hard as it is, even when it doesn't seem like she cares, because trust me, once it's all over, no ones gonna be kicking her ass more than herself. She will recall everything that happened afterward and feel horrible about it.. Hang in there, and keep coming back.

[Thoctar]

I would never want to lash out at her, I love her, and would never want or consciously hurt her. I just don´t want to put her through any more than she already does and I want to be able to deal with it so she doesn´t have to put up with anymore. Thanks a lot, I probably just need some time to adjust, and I feel so stupid afterwards when its faded away.