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Jennie
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« on: December 21, 2011, 02:38:28 AM » |
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From my personal experiences in many relationships. Finally got him to understand how it works, adjust to it, and we've been happy for 5 years with minor ups and downs. Compared to what it was with all my relationships that didn't last, that's pretty damn good.
Moving on...
1)When she's in a depressive episode. If she's distant and not wanting to respond to you. DO NOT continually ask her,"What's wrong, what's wrong, why won't you tell me, is it me?"
That will just make it worse.. No matter how hard it is, and how much it feels like you're useless, helpless, or it's your fault, don't do it!
2) If she is passive, doesn't want to talk to you,DO tell her, you're here for her, when she's ready. Then patiently hold her, quietly, and softly tell her positive things once in a while, but not continuously, that gets annoying and can make things worse.
3) DO NOT say everything's going to be okay. I know to you, that may seem positive and uplifting, but in her head in that moment she's thinking,"How would you know? I'm not choosing to be like this! Leave me alone!" Stick to,"I love you, I'm here when you need me, etc."
4) If she's having a depressive episode, and she's listening to sad music, try to get her to do something else, that sad music will only encourage the sadness, although she doesn't know it in the moment.
5) DO NOT Snap at her, as hard as it is, remind her of what she did wrong etc. She doesn't know she's doing it when she's in an episode, it just comes out uncontrollably like a waterfall in a little tube. Trust me, when the episode is over, it will dawn on her, and no one is going to torture her more than herself with her own guilt. So no need to add salt to the wound.
Hang in there guys..Keep coming back, BP or not, we're here for you too.
That's all I have for now. Sorry if it offends anyone, but I really mean well from personal experience.
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