This is bullshit

[Dreamline]

So I go to the doc today...talked to him about anxiety again and he says its agoraphobia.  Yeah...then he said I could try (Paz you'll flip) Celexia...he even said it might make me manic.     Ok #1 I do not want to take something EVERYDAY for anxiety...#2 if it might make me manic NFW, I don't care if I can stop taking it and all that...I have to then deal with the damage and possibly rebound depression.  JESUS wtf is it!???

To make matters worse, I told him I didn't want it and he insisted on writing it anyway so I could try it if I want.  Ok fine if he feels it could help but I don't want it dammit, why should I have to wait until my next appointment to try some other shit?

To make matters worse than that, the nurse I saw talked down to me...I told her I don't want to take something everyday and that he didn't listen, she laughed at me saying "well you have to take it everyday or it won't work"  WTF  I know that I said, and I don't want something I have to take everyday.  I was pissed, frustrated and sad...she took my blood pressure and said its was really high and I might have to get that checked if its high like this every time.  I said actually I'm stressed out right now...she said some stupid shit about how well if next time...WTF I said next time if I am not upset about this anxiety bullshit I am trying to fix it will be low, it would have been low today as usual.  She fucking just blew me off WTF???  She said some other stupid shit too like "there is no other anxiety med that you only take only once per day maybe you need to find what it is and tell hi that's what you want" Dismissiveness and invalidation.

I already called and bitched.  I am going to talk to my therapist next week about it and settle it.  I have what happened written down.  This is bullshit.

[dm52]

Sorry to hear your Dr is not being of much help. Don't really have much advice to give, just hope your therapist is more helpful. 

I read a good book about anxiety, had some problems with this when I was depressed. Not sure if you would have heard of it before. It is just a fairly short book in cartoon format called "Living with It" by Bev Aisbett.
When I first read it I thought it was great, that was a couple of years ago and I may have been a bit manic at the time, so might remember it as better than it was! Anyway a friend from work recommended it too me when I was depressed and I did not get it till I felt much better. At the time I was trying to read all I could to try to find a way to stop depression coming back (had not been diagnosed with BP at this point). I found the book seemed very helpful at the time, but I cant have a look at it now cause i lent it to someone and they did not give it back. If nothing else it was quite funny.  It relates anxiety to a monster named IT. Enjoyable light hearted read in any case.

[Dreamline]

Hey thanks, maybe they will have it at the library I'll look.

[dm52]

hopefully. Think it is an Australian Author, not sure if they would have it in your library or not

[Paz]

 An Antidepressant for anxiety?!   

 Anti-anxiety drugs (tranquilizers / benzodiazepines)
Anti-anxiety drugs, also known as tranquilizers, are medications that relieve anxiety by slowing down the central nervous system. Their relaxing and calming effects have made them very popular: anti-anxiety drugs are the most widely prescribed type of medication for anxiety. They are also prescribed as sleeping pills and muscle relaxants.

Benzodiazepines are the most common class of anti-anxiety drugs. They include:

Xanax (alprazolam)
Klonopin (clonazepam)
Valium (diazepam)
Ativan (lorazepam)
Benzodiazepines are fast acting—typically bringing relief within thirty minutes to an hour. Because they work quickly, benzodiazepines are very effective when taken during a panic attack or another overwhelming anxiety episode. But despite their potent anti-anxiety effects, they have their drawbacks.

 Your Doc seems to not know what the proper meds for anxiety are!

 What a Fucking Moron. 

 

[Dreamline]

I don't understand, this is the doc who said he would never give me an antidepressant because it would make me manic.  I kept mentioning my dog, he didn't say much...you know if its the potential for abuse thing  he could have TALKED TO ME about that!  Jesus I know I have a history of Cannabis "abuse" but that was 3 fucking years ago!  I quit by myself!!!  WTF.  He's going to have to talk to me, I'm not waiting 3 fucking months to do that.  RRRrrrr can't wait til next friday.

[Kensho]

Dreamline!!! how are you? i hope you're doing well outside the scope of dealing with this asswipe... take your meds like a good patient now, we knows what's best for you!!!  fuck you imbecile... he sounds like my doctor, they're all caught up in one big circle jerk called believe what ever the drug companies say... that's exactly what they do you know... i watched a video on Utube awhile back where an ex drug sales rep talked about her spending in upwards of 4 weeks in training... most of that time was spent in role playing where one person would play the sales rep and the other the doctor of course... they would cover every possible outcome, just to convince the doctor to write a prescription for a med designed for psychosis to be used as a sleeping agent or some shit... off label use is a crime against patients... it's totally unregulated, meaning not only can they get away saying whatever the fuck they want to they're not required by congressional law to monitor it's use... if a patient complains, that complaint legally doesn't have to be recorded... right now my sister and i are in the early stages of developing my book and i intend to address this issue directly... i'm not pulling a single punch... i intend to punch them square in the face... i'm addressing alot of issues... who knows, maybe oprah will have me on and put my book on oprahs favorite book list!  i'm just talking out my fucking ass now!!!  i don't feel manic at all, but i have been pretty up lately, getting at least 6 hours sleep and when you consider my lifestyle many people who eat like me claim they can get away with only needing 4 now, so i'm a lazy fuck! 

anyway, i miss mixing it up with you and had to stop by to say hi to you... and i haven't forgot the texts on jesus either... please be patient with me... things have been real crazy for me lately, but i had some free time and couldn't think of any better place to return to... i miss you all and you are one of those i think of in particular at times...

Kensho 

[Dreamline]

I'm really fucking bummed out right now, its Christmas and I'm sitting here alone.  I'm pretty down about not having any fucking help for the agoraphobia.  I do not have any friends, so you guys are the only ones giving me any moral support.  I have this sadness in my chest I can't get rid of, I have no peace until fucking Friday when I talk to my therapist...if that does anything. 

Thanks a lot assholes that I rely on for mental health treatment!   MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS AS WELL!!!

As for off label use of drugs...the only thing I see as ok is using something that will likely be approved for it.  Example, Paz takes Gabapentin off-label for bipolar, its an anti-convulsant so that makes some sense there.  But giving a maniac like me and anti depressant when I finally feel some peace right now in normal mood that may not even last another month....we don't even know yet how long the calm will last!!!  JFC!!! 

I really don't know how to let this go.   I have little hope they'll listen to me the second time after blowing me off like that.  I had this fucking dream last night that they had me taken to the hospital put in a strait jacket and mega dosed with antipsychotics.  I was struggling to get away and make them hear me but nope, a needle in my ass...then I'm just standing there in drooling apathy watching them debate over what to do next.

So again fuck you for shoving a presription up my ass for Christmas, Merry Fucking Christmas everyone...I've been prescribed a big FUCK YOU.

[LadyAshley]

Moron! That's all I can say and for the record dreamline, I have A LOT of issues with anxiety (agoraphobia included) and Celexa did nothing for my anxiety OR depression and it certainly won't help bipolar. I really hate doctors right now.

[Dreamline]

I talked to my therapist...she didn't have the latest doctor's notes, they weren't in my file yet (its because of some process not her fault/that's happened before).  So she could see what he wrote about why he prescribed it and she's not a doctor so she can't say anything medical.  Anyhow, she said if for dealing with isolated incidences of anxiety (like going certain places in public or for other temporary stress) they usually prescribe a benzo.  Imagine that.  She said for generalized anxiety she said that's when they usually prescribe something like Celexa...so she was perplexed but reiterated of course that she didn't have his notes.  She said I could just change my appointment to sooner and talk to him then.  She understood at least why I would disagree.  I'm getting more and more redundant with them about why I want my dog with me instead of a using a drug. 

She also told me about this place here (had I known) that trains poodles to be service dogs.  She had just found out about it and remembered me mentioning wanting to do that.  I found out how to contact them, wish me luck.

[Kensho]

i've been away for awhile now, so i don't know if you had the interview yet but i'm gonna talk to the great spirit 4 U...

Kensho