Feeling Grinchy

[spongebobfan]

Well my family has had a house guest this weekend. I usually like when this guy visits but I feel like this time around he just keeps picking on me! It seems like everything he says is a slam. Like how he makes more money than I do. Money seems to be everything to the guy. Then he comments about how he thinks the decisions I make are stupid. For example he was laughing at me because my rental home didn't work out. He told me I got taken for a ride and I should have known that the house was a mess. How would I have known that the roof leaked or the washer was going to break? How would I have known that there were mice? The house had just been professionally cleaned! There was no evidence of mice when I looked at the place. Then I happened to make a comment about something my sister did and he started making fun of me because he thinks my decisions compare to hers. My sister and I are very different and I work really hard to make well thought out decisions. I sometimes make decisions knowing that they might not work but I'm willing to take that risk. So at that point I was so furious that I couldn't recover. I could barely contain myself.I could feel my face burning and all I wanted to do was scream obscenities at him. I ended up taking xanax last night which helped but pretty much I haven't talked to him since. Really I've kept to myself for the most part not talking to anyone. So this morning I joked to my mom that maybe I could get a job at disney world as Ursula or something. I said "you know I have the right body type for that one" This jerks response "and the right personality". So I finally spoke up and said "you know if I didn't like you I wouldn't have given up my room for you to stay in. I might be nicer if I didn't feel like I am constantly under attack" He said "by who?" I said "you" and then he just said oh and nothing else was said. So now there is still this awkwardness and I still want to attack him. Why do people think they can come to my house and treat me badly?
Thank goodness my family is not celebrating Christmas today. We are celebrating on Thursday. Hopefully I'll be happier by then.

[Geister]

I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you feel better soon. Yeah I'm pretty sure if it looked as bad as it got once you moved in you wouldn't have taken it. :/  I find that (in my family anyway) if you have a mental disorder, are still at home once you're over17/18, or just generally not doing what your family and friends think it is you should be doing, they tend to get very condescending. It really gets to me that people are like that especially when there's a perfectly good reason for you to be home, etc. That happens to me a lot here. :/

[Dreamline]

Same here people treat you like oh the typical "its all in your head, why don't you get a job, move out etc."  Like you can just outgrow it or something.

[spongebobfan]

You know, the worse thing is I don't think he even knows I have BP! I think he knows I'm on meds cause he's seen me take them. I think he is all about money. I also think it bothers him that I hop from job to job. It's not that I fail at them its just that I haven't found the one that is right for me. He kept saying if you get paid the job is fine. Well this guy works alone. When he goes to work it doesn't affect anyone else. I work with people. When I go to work my whole purpose is to improve their lives. Im always looking for ways to be of greater use to my community. I think that makes me a good person but others can't understand that.
I will say I am very thankful for xanax :-) Ive noticed my ability to control my frustrations is weakening. I haven't actually lost it with anyone but I thought I might last night.

[Dreamline]

Then he's just making 100% assumptions...I hate it when people are judgmental. 

[Kensho]

hmmmmmmmmm... he sounds like a real charmer... just out of curiosity, is he the same age or older then you? i'm guessing older since he's your parents friend. sometimes achievers can be real assholes... they can have tendencies to judge others based on their own perceived success. it's interesting that he fails to see his own serious flaws which are to make others feel bad in order to inflate his own ego. i'm absolutely positive he has other issues too, because if you have to flaunt your material worth to others means you can't identify any other positive aspects of yourself... yeah, he's weak... very week... he wouldn't have lasted 5 minutes with me... i think on the fly pretty quickly once again and can use wit against the best of assholes... try to let this go... don't go digging for flaws in yourself now just because he says they're there, because their not... fuck, i'd try and catch one of those mice and put it in a ten gallon fish tank and raise it as if it were my own!  and who the fuck is supposed to know that an appliance is going to fail? it's not as if you can read it's mind? you didn't run a few loads of laundry before you made your decision to rent... yeah, if he said this shit to me, he'd be eating his shit... 

i want you to smiiiiile! i did an old exercise my psychologist had me do early on... that's to stand in front of a mirror and just smile at your reflection... that's it, just smile, the bigger the better... and i was feeling pretty good when i started to do this and within 1 minute tops i could actually feel the endorphins flowing that smile became more permanent. i had an easy time brushing my teeth afterwords...  no, i'm being serious here! 


happy holidays spongebob...

Kensho 

[spongebobfan]

Thanks guys! I love the support offered here. I am much better now that he's gone. Kensho you brought up the point that I was thinking once he left. I agree that he must have some issues because he is so focused on letting everyone know hw has money. I'm letting it go now and hoping next time he comes will be better. Oh and I don't know how old he is. I think he's only 5ish year older than I am.
Anyway thanks a bunch!