Because of all the information I wrote down about my tiggers, mood swings, etc. Ironically that saved me too. They said I could be an outpatient because I was 'uncharacteristically aware' of my delusions/psychotic episodes. lol So I definitely suffer from psychosis, OCD, either bipolar, or schizotypal disorder bipolar type, GAD, SAD, and I think that's it. BUt I am so so glad to finally know what's wrong with me. lol I was just wondering.. do you guys mind if I stick around even if it ends up being schizotypal? I know it's a site for bipolar disorder is all and I don't want to intrude..
I'm now on clonazepam, respiridone, and they're trying a higher dose of effexor, if that doesn't work then probably lithium. Lots of pills, for me anyway.
i like that term 'uncharacteristically aware'... that's there way of saying, "hmmmm... she's not supposed to be aware of her psychosis/delusions" and technically they're right... or do you believe them but someone could reason with you? bipolar and schizotypal are totally unrelated to one another... bipolar is a mood disorder and schizotypal is a personality disorder... but i definitely agree that one could have the two together because i did in the early stages... i wonder why they call it schizotypal bipolar type instead of bipolar schizotypal type... hmmmm... it probably has a lot to do withte way it rolls off of the tongue... think about it... say bipolar schizotyal type, 3 times fast... then try schizotypal bipolar type... it really does make much more sense to call it schizotypal bipolar type because they claim the personality condition know as schizotypal personality is part of the schizophrenic spectrum... it's just interesting that a personality issue can degrade into a serious mental illness... if you look at the symptoms of schizotypal they're more loose delusional thinking, paranoia with anxiety, like depersonalization or derealization... do you experience dp/dr? i used to experience both quite often... depending on the nature of the experience, it could be kind of cool or it could turn out to be quite horrific... mine were generally on the horrific side...
Schizotypal Personality Disorder: DSM-IV-TR 301.22
A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal deficits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by 5 or more:
~~~Ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference)
~~~Odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g. superstition, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, "sixth sense", or bizarre fantasies or preoccupations)
~~~Unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions
~~~Odd thinking and speech (e.g. vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, or stereotyped speaking)
~~~Suspiciousness or paranoid ideas
~~~Inappropriate or constricted affect
~~~Behavior or appearance that is odd eccentric or peculiar
~~~Lack of close friends or confidants other than first degree relatives
~~~Excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity and tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgments about self
Millon's subtypes
Theodore Millon identified two subtypes of schizotypal . Any individual schizotypal may exhibit either one of the following somewhat different subtypes (Note that Millon believes it is rare for a personality with one pure variant, but rather a mixture of one major variant with one or more secondary variants):
~~~insipid schizotypal - a structural exaggeration of the passive-detached pattern. It includes schizoid, depressive, dependent features.
~~~timorous schizotypal - a structural exaggeration of the active-detached pattern. It includes avoidant, negativistic (passive-aggressive) features.
are you insipid or are you timorous? i can honestly say i was a bit of the both at times... it was a very strange feeling...
Ideas of Reference and Delusions of Reference...
'Ideas of reference must be distinguished from delusions of reference, which may be similar in content but are held with greater conviction'. With the former, but not the latter, the person holding them may have 'the feeling that strangers are talking about him/her, but if challenged, acknowledges that the people may be talking about something else'.
At the same time, there may be 'transitions...to delusions' from ideas of reference: whereas 'abortive ideas of reference, in the beginning of their development or, in Schizotypal personalities, continuously, may remain subject to the patient's criticism...under adverse circumstances, by minimal economic shifts, however, reality testing may be lost and daydreams of this kind turn into delusions'.
It has been noted that the character 'rigidly controlled by his superego...readily forms sensitive ideas of reference. A key experience may occur in his life circumstances and quite suddenly these ideas become structured as delusions of reference'. Within the 'focus of paranoia...that man crossing his legs, that woman wearing that blouse - it can't just be accidental. It has a particular meaning, is intended to convey something'.
Examples of persons with ideas of reference may experience:
~~~Believing that 'somehow everyone on a passing city bus is talking about them, yet they may be able to acknowledge this is unlikely'
~~~A feeling that people on television or radio are talking about or talking directly to them
~~~Believing that headlines or stories in newspapers are written especially for them
~~~Believing that events (even world events) have been deliberately contrived for them, or have special personal significance for them
~~~Seeing objects or events as being set up deliberately to convey a special or particular meaning to themselves
~~~Thinking 'that the slightest careless movement on the part of another person had great personal meaning...increased significance'
it all boils down to whether your delusions seem real, but you're able to rationalize them as being unreasonable thoughts. i was like that at first, that's what was so weird, sometimes i would think to myself why am i thinking like this, but eventually i couldn't separate the event from reality.... who ever is close to you to you should really keep a close eye on you... buy the time i lost touch it was impossible for me to separate it all, even when everyone around me was doing there best to do so... i hope you never become schizoaffective Geister, i spent over 6 years, all by myself... i would not allow even my wife to come into my space... i used to think she was poisoning me and spying on me for the government... all kinds of crazy shit... i'm going to say a prayer to the great spirit Geister, that this shit doesn't go any further... now that you have all of these diagnoses, does it make it any better for you?
K~~~
