panics and anxiety

[dionomo]

I feel so lost lately and im almost feeling like i could endanger myself and others because of my anxiety
im not at the point of panic but i feel like it could be getting close i started some meds i was on last year for anxiety
it almost feels like im going in circles in life with what ever is wrong with my head
im starting to think that something must have happened in my life that has made start to avoid being a person and i just act happy
and try to make others laugh because its the only thing that make me comfortable with others because then i feel like they like me
and wont harm me and im not too sure why it feels that everyones out to get me but its starting to unfold into elaborate conspiracies and they dont feel like they make sense in most any way i wish i could make it stop i dont wanna hurt myself because im building a life now but at the same time
im not sure if im fit for this world i just keep on tryin and tryin and now its so scattered it feels like im doing things blankly like i dont realize what im doing or even where im at because im trying to focus so hard on this like i know way too much to be safe anymore due to these elaborate conspiracies and its kinda tearing me up the new meds are ok but they dont work all the way i took a little more than recommended and still felt less than ok and its like i keep sparking crazy suddenly
people that come around me need tread lightly because im starting to feel a bit dangerous because i dont feel like any are my friends
and as a matter of fact i dont really want that many friends or even people around me
and they seem they are all enemy to me and the wrong smile smell words can spark me into this blank state where im there
but im not and i never know when i will come to and i dont feel i have any control over it
weed seems to be the only thing that works to stop it but i dont trust people anymore or not a single living thing
and thats a scarey place to be but then with everything else i just feel like i dont know where or how to move on
its confusing and when i write to paper it seems like nothing makes sense and on here its not easy either but i dont waste some many erasers and trees
it kinda feels like I'm being persecuted by something or my friends  kinda like  what hitler did to the jewish people in germany because im different and im not the type of person you want to dothat to due to it building me into these blank states of mind from the anxiety i cant get into control lately 

i try and try but im only spinning around on this stupid @%%@ faris wheel that i hate

[Phyllis]

sorry you are feeling this way. hope you start to feel better soon.

[spongebobfan]

That is not a good place to be. I can see that you are hurting and hoping for relief. Hold tight to the bits of reality you have and maybe that will help you to continue to recognize the thoughts that are less rational. It sounds like you are able to recognize when your thoughts start to spiral. In my experience though it can be hard to keep reality in check when thoughts are racing. Please be safe and remember there are always emergency rooms if things get to be unbearable. It's never a bad idea to ask for help. Hope things improve in a hurry.

[Ashes]

Would your doctor give you something different for anxitey?  It dosnt sound like what they put you on helped any.  I hope you start feeling better soon keep us posted.
Ashes

[Dreamline]

You on lithium?  you take inositol?  Its been shown to help with panic attacks in clinical studies....lithium depletes inositol.

[dionomo]

im on lithium and a anxiety med that i can take 4 times a day and temazepam for sleep but this it not enough at all im freakin out still we had a crazy ice storm here and i slid about a mile down this road, a for real mile all over about into a big ditch a river  a creek and then back and forth the whole way down it was scary as hell never done that before for a minute i think my heart stopped or something i just freaked out i could breath i finally stopped in someones yard  luckily and then just couldnt breath  i sat there and shook for like 10 mins takin deep breaths smoked a few ciggarettes waited for another car  that was sliding down then got back on the ice and after driving very slowly i made it home i am not fit for this climate today i felt so scared  i just have no idea why im being torn apart by myself nature work stress this shits gettin to be too much but i am not giving uup yet people

[Dreamline]

Yikes that's a lot of stress...and the ice...fuck that....I have never slid very far on ice but I can kind of relate.  I had an old maroon ford explorer and was driving to work on ice and slid past a stop sign...freaked me out I was like FUCK, NO!!!!  Thank fuck nothing was coming!

Anyway, inositol is fairly cheap, try it...I take 2500mg/day and it helps with the lithium side effect of endlessly drinking water and corrects the depletion thing: supposed to help with depression and anxiety.  Good shit can't hurt, caps or powder...the powder is mildly sweet tasting if you hate thinking about add more pills.

[dionomo]

is inositol a prescription or is it like some kind of thing you would get at a vitamin store or something like that I never heard of it my anxiety is down for now it went up a little for a minute there when i couldnt find some paper work but its lost and i dont care anymore thats just a whole other issue that im not going to deal with im too stressed to deal with most things but im go swing the bat again today going back on the road to see if i will freak out because staying at home kinda hides it from me and i want to feel like i have a life

[Dreamline]

Oh its just a supplement no p/doc needed, doesn't interact with anything I have taken.  You wanna let it build up in your system but I have heard even taking in on an empty stomach has a calming affect.  Worth a shot.  Try amazon, they often have free shipping.