My kittycat has gone to heaven.

[Anna]

Hi everyone,
Don't mean to be so sad,I need to get this out. Today my kittycat Brindle died. She was killed by my cousins bulldog. It was horrible and upsetting. She was 15 and was a rescue cat. I stopped to get her and 3 more kittens on a back road when a jerk in front of me pulled over and tossed them out of a box from his window. I kept her and gave the others away. She been a great companion to me. Now its just me and Ladybug my mixed shepard dog. I'm so glad she was at the creek when this happened because I'm sure she would have fought the other dog. She and Brindle were best friends if you can believe that. They ate, slept, and hung out together. Ladybug is now outside serching for Brindle. Its so sad. But had Ladybug been here she would have probably tried to protect Brindle, and the other dog would have surely harmed her too, as he outweighs her by atleast 40 lbs. Thing is he's not really a bad dog other than today. He's old and belonged to an old man who died so my cousin took him in. He has athritis,weighs about 170, is a bull massive, and has always been gentle with me and other dogs. Brindle doesn't go out much anymore but wanted to sit on the porch today. I realize thios sounds really stupid but, I would have never guessed this of the dog because hes been around the cat before. However,that was when I was present. Well my cousin buried her for me and I just walked down there. He picked out a pretty spot to the creek and placed some slate rock on top. He did the right thing. He was so sorry, but of course sometimes nature is cruel and I am not angry at anyone. Although I could kick myself over and over. I just miss her, and no amount of anger at the dog, my cousin or myself,can help that anyway right? Besides I love my cousin and would never blame him.  Brindle tore him up with her teeth and claws, which perhaps will teach him something. Who knows. He had atleast 4 bites on his chest and was clawed for his ribs to his nose. He is now on a lead chain with sulfur powder all over his face and chest. Cousin says he will remain there now.

[Phyllis]

I'm sorry to hear this! Losing a pet is always difficult, especially to lose one this way. It is such a shame.
I'm curious to know, why does the dog have sulfuer powder on him?

[Julie]

Anna I am sorry about Brindle. I lost my kitty last year. It hurt me terribly. I still, a yr later, open the door and wait on her to come. Sometimes I see something I left in the floor and think for a moment it is Lu. After my children grew up and left home she became the kid of the house. Maybe she knew or didn't, but some days she was my total support. One thing she did know was exactly when to jump in my lap and cuddle with me. She too, was a rescue kitty. I went to the rescue 17 yrs ago and looked around with the kids. We saw another kitty that we liked, but then Lu appeared. She jumped up in my wheelchair with no fear. I asked what her name was and they told me. It is my moms name. So we brought her home. Through the kids and all their friends she became known as Lu. We were new to the city and she helped us find our security. I believe that she is in kitty heaven, because there must be a special place for someone that gave so much in our home. I am glad you had someone with you. I was alone, it hurt and still does. I do think that some of us just need that special love from an animal, if we can provide and give it the proper care. I will go again. I have sometimes that I have to be away for first and don't want to get a kitty and put it in care, as soon as I get it. BUT oh, how I look forward to that day.
I know where your head is. You and your kitty both were blessed for your time together.

[Anna]

Phyllis ask why does the dog have sulfuer powder on him?
He was cut up pretty bad by Brindles claws. I made up some tea tree soap real fast to make sure we got the germs. Cats claws can cause bad infections. They bathed him in it and then put some of that sulfur based powder for dog sores on him. His whole face is yellow with it, as he sits on his lead line. I was just told he will not be released from it or the house again. 

Julie,,sounds like Lu and you were meant to be together. And I understand about when the kids leave. My sons all the way in Texas now and my daughter is an hour away on a busy highway. When they grew up my cats and Ladybug were my kids. I lost an 18 year old cat last summer. She was my shadow,her name was Pandora. She died of old age and saved me many times,on many dark days. I wish Brindle would have had an easy passing,but it just didn't turn out that way. I can't tell if I'm just holding in anger and fellings or if I'm pushing them away. Its just a sad feeling.

[francie]

Anna, i cried when i read this... i'm very sad for your loss.

~~francie

[Anna]

Thank you everyone. I just noticed its 6:29 p.m. and the whole day seems a blur. But thanks ya'll,,so much for the support. I think I'll go make a vanilla coffee and sit in the chair with T.V. for a while. Have a good night,I plan on sleeping hard tonite.

[high maintenence]

I had the same thing happen to my lifelong friend/dog. He went out to "potty" and was attacked by a pit bull. He made it through surgery, repairing a hole in his trachea, and died later that day. I am still so torn up by it and it was 2 years ago. I've tried to replace him with my dog, Pennie, but I just can't love her like I did Charlie. It is really devastating and I am so sorry for your loss, Anna. Sending you big hugs..high

[Cathy]

So sorry you lost your pet, hope you feel better soon x

[Anna]

WARNING,I'm gonna be real pissy in this post!

 O.K. Today, I find myself asking the universe WTF. I've lost three animals in the last year. Two of those were from animal attacks. Both big jawed bull dogs. Now don't get me wrong from the begining,I adore all dogs. But as far as the two that murdered my babies who were both on my property at the time,,I'm not adoring them so much today. Yes my friends, I am NOT in a "positive thinking" mood today. Today I am in no way about to fight the negatives. I almost want to embrace them. I pray I manage some restraint. Today I am gonna get my feelings out about a few things. Or as my father would say, The redheaded Irish ball of fire is erupting again. (yeah,,whatever dad) My cat is dead and I am pissed at myself too. Why? one may ask. Well, I have let the dog get away with it.

 Now granted, I realize I am going through the stages of grief. First was shock ,then sadness, now anger. Yes I'm mad at the dog and yes I'm mad at my cousin. It was a bull massive for goodness sake. I'll never get the images out of my head. I went to the mailbox a while ago. He's chained up near the path to it across the yard. He was just sitting there smiling at me when I walked by. WITH HIS DECEIVING FAT FACE ALL SCRATCHED UP. You see he and I were friends to some extent. I'm so mad. I just looked over at him and said, "Well looks like you came away with some scars you piece of shit." Hes all cut up. Am not saying I'm happy about that, but I will say I kinda don't care!!!!  I even made him special soap to keep down infection after the attack yesterday. Now part of me wishes I hadn't and that they had to take him to the vet and spend a fortune.
 Sound selfish and mean? Good cause thats how I feel. Selfish and mean. The dog should not have been lose. One that hand I suppose mine should not be allowed out to tinkle. But then again,,my dog loved Brindle, and so theres the differerence. The dog was trained to attack and kill at some time in his life. I can tell by the way he acted. I know a little about the subject of attack dogs and fighting dogs. Now I am questioning if my cousin even considered his background or check it out properly before trun him lose to run.
 
 I'm just a bundle of nerves. Can't seem to work it off. I need to get in there and make my soap orders for the week. I can't craft when I'm like this. The soap just turns to goo. Anyway, I'm trying to work out the angry so I can go out and pick some flowers or something for her grave. I need to calm down.

[Julie]

Anna, Your hurt and angry. It does hurt. To me it felt like a child dying, but then I have never felt that pain and I know in reality, that would be the ultimate pain. Pets become like our children. Some of us are just meant to love them. Thinking of you as realization hits home today. Julie

[Anna]

For some its like that Julie. Animals are beautiful gifts that somehow flove us no matter what. The loss of a child would be greater of course,but it still so for some to lose an animal.

[clayton]

Non-catters cant understand the feelings cat people have for their cats. Back  in the day we had a series of unfixed males that were always getting killed in traffic while chasing females. There was Conan I, Conan II, and Cuchulain (named after the Champion of ulster, who was very short-lived). They were big gorgeous cats, and I found one of them all bloody and smashed up, trying to get back home. I still feel bad for them, whether they went to cat heaven or took another birth here. It is perfectly awful to lose a cat---but time will heal--it is early  in the process right now, but you will feel better.

clayton

[Phyllis]

Yep, losing a child hurts waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than losing an animal.   

[nordicnicki]

aw sorry to hear that anna....im a real cat person and can fully understand your loss and your anger towards the dog...it doesnt seem fair at all to me....just worries me that if the dog can do that to a cat what would it do to a small child that annoys it

[Anna]

Exactly nordicnicki. Now that I have rested some I'm coming to my senses.  Yesterday my cousins girlfriend called just to chat. She laughingly said,,
" Well, Scobbys paying for what he did yesterday." I said oh,hows that? She said "well hes all cut up and his muscles are sore." Gezzz I wanted to tear into her. But instead I just said " Well hes doing better than Brindle. Isn't he? "
 
This brings up another issue. I sometimes let people get away with things I shouldn't. You see as a single lady at my age, after raising kids alone, I'm frustrated about being and doing everything alone. However,I don't think about being married until things like this happen. It just gets sickening to never have anyone by your side. And I know from others it also can be hard with someone there too. But I don't feel as strong and independent as I used to. I have this image of my imaginary hubby (haha) doing something about it rather than me just letting people(and dogs) get away with everything. I could have called the law. I don't think they realize that. I'm so worried the dog will hurt someones child. Because to be honest, its more my cousin girlfriend than it is my cousin,allowing the dog out. Shes a sweet person, but kinda stubborn. I've mentioned the dog knocking me down to the ground before,and all I get is,,"he can't help it he just gets underfoot". WTH. She told me to trust him and I did. Now I'm wondering about my other cat.The 18 year old on that disapperd last summer. Wondering if he did that too. And what about my little jack russle that came home all chewed up and dided two weeks later. All this happen in the last year. Shes always telling people not to panic when her little dog and the Scooby run up to them. Well gezz,,a huge bull dog and a poodle (poddles can be very mean too) raising hell as they run towards you while their ower just stands there laughing at people for being afraid is stupid. She'll say,"oh they want hurt you","or they just want you to pet them) and a number of other lies I'll not listen to again. I always just try to hold my tounge. I want to say more to my cousin but for some reason when I try I just clam up.  Not his fault ,hes a pretty nice guy.But little ole me is scared to say anything else.

Why do I let people get away with things?