abuse

[high maintenence]

just a little experiment

[clayton]

It's a good question--I had some happy times, but my father had a strap, and he would whale into me with it from time to time. The Principal didnt think it was child abuse, but just because he only hit me on the buttocks doesnt mean it wasnt child abuse!

[francie]

I was terribly abused as a child, which led to the PTSD, however i can say i've recovered fairly well... i am safe now, and i realize that.

I think that there is a difference between a spanking and a beating.  And kids who have been physically abused (beyond an old fashioned spanking), would see a spanking as more abuse, i'm sure.

i did.

[clayton]

Well this is a big debate these days. I am of the opinion that you don't hit your children--there are other ways to discipline them.

[Phyllis]

I was both mentally and physically abused. It wasn't an everyday occurance (well the mental abuse was) but it doesn't matter, it still happened. I think that is why I let my kids walk all over me - I don't want them to grow up in fear of me like I was my dad. Too bad I can't find a happy medium.

[francie]

both of my kids got one spanking during their childhoods... and they needed it.

when my younger son was 13, i told him "NO" in response to a request and he raised his hand to me.. then he HIT ME?  He never did that before (raging hormones)!  My husband, his stepfather, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, took him into his room and gave him a spanking on his bare ass... believe me, if the kid would have hit me (5'10 and about 200 lbs at the time), he would have taken me down...

well, my son was never so embarrassed in his life.  he ADORED my husband, and believe me, was very sorry for what he did.  and a few years later, he told me he deserved the spanking, and more.

i wasn't an abusive parent.. i remember giving my kids a little whack on the bottom to get them moving when they were small, but it wasn't forceful or painful.

i used alternative methods of discipline 99.9% of the time, which worked fairly well.  both my kids are relatively "normal" people today.. im thankful for that.

[nordicnicki]

i kinda agree with phyllis.......i let my kids walk over to some extent but that isnt because of abuse i endured but because of what they had to grow up with when their father was around..
my abuse was a mixed bag of allsorts from age five to 35......there is no way on this earth i want any of the things that happened to me to happen to either of my children.
both them and my family know nothing of what i endured,only the select few have details which i had to get out of my head at the time.....guess i will take most of it to my grave until i need to clear my head again

[k]

i have 2 very different sides to my childhood and for years therapists thought it was childhood issues that brought about my mental health problems. now i believe i would have bp and these problems no matter what.  my sister beat me up on a regular basis but i didn't consider it abuse. she said she also did some sexual things which i can't even remember so i don't consider that abuse. my parent's didn't mean to be verbally abusive but they were but at least they tried to be there for me when i fell apart and all throughout my life in whatever capacity they could.
my sisters slugs never hurt as bad as being berated ever did and having her hate me for no reason.  but i guess not knowing when i was going to walloped or know if my sister was going to actually kill my parents like she threatened made my family home somewhat unpredictable and not all that safe.
and francie i do believe in what you call the difference between spanking and beating. i think there's a huge difference and i think kids no it. you know like you said you used it.  generally hitting a child i don't think is ever ok or when it's just lashing out in anger. 

[cathylovesjoe]

i voted yes, but i dont know, like my childhood was great, my mother was brill, my stepfather was kool. i was an only child first grandchild etc so it was all good in that aspect. but somethings happened outside my family, outside my house, with someone my age (not getting bullied) and it affected my whole life.  and it was abuse, and it was when i was a child and it happened over the space of year.... so in that aspect i was abused in childhood, but not by family they're all great!

[elwood]

I voted yes.  The abuse i suffered was not physical abuse, rather mental abuse.  i have to give the credit for mental abuse to both of my parents.  My mother would scream and yell at me for anything.  my father i blame for letting her do it.  he would make sure he wasn't home most of the time after work.  he would leave me at home knowing what my mother was doing to me.  He even admitted he didnt know how i handled it.

I blame my father for not stepping in and helping.  instead he would spend the evenings with his girlfriends.  i am sure that just made my mother angrier and she had one male child and two girls.  the girls were treated good by her, but she took everything that my father did, or anyone else for that matter and took it out on the only male at home.

Well i am sure you are bored to tears by now so i will say  as i always wanted to see the horse in action.

Elwood.

[high maintenence]

No, Elwood, I am not bored to tears. I want these answers...whether good or bad and whether long or short.

[elwood]

Thank you High maintenence!  As it is 3:15 AM here I will give more details tomarrow.  I do appreciate someone listening even though you barely know me.

More tomarrow

Elwood

[high maintenence]

I do have my own story to tell in this area...Like anyone really cares...But, I wanted to see if here, on this site, the study turns out to be the same as the shrinks surveys say. So far, it's looking pretty close. I don't really fell like, or have time to get to my story right at this moment, as it is long, but I will...just keep polling..ttyl

[chasemanzmum]

mine was mental and emotional from my father. guess he thought he got good over the years

[nordicnicki]

what does the shrinks survey say?
i was sexually abused from 5 which progressed for years,raped numerous times,beaten by two boyfriends and finally married a phsychotic nutcase who did the lot........does that fit into any of it?