preexisting

[high maintenence]

Parents of children that associate with my children come to the conclusion before I ever meet them that I'm looney and a horrific mother. My kids go and tell the parents about my illness and things that I have done, b/c the parents are nosy, so they keep plucking for more info once my kids get started. What's the point in even trying to meet them? This has happened with my daughter's boyfriends mother. She is just plain rude to me, this most prestigiously christian woman, and we've have a spat or two over the phone b/c my daughter will tell her things that she clabbers up to meet her own agenda, and then the mom calls to tell me how I should treat my daughter...

Believe me, we've addressed this with the children and with the boyfriend's mom....but it still continues. I will never escape this. Everyone will always judge me before they even meet me. For heaven's sake, people I have known for years judge me enough, what if they didn't know me? It is even easier to judge when they haven't even met me.

[nordicnicki]

its hard when others opinions play on your mind and make you feel this way.
i adopted the i dont give a fuck attitude a long time ago....i no longer care or have interest in anyones opinion of me(family included)i am what i am and if they dont like being near that then get lost........the ones that can accept and love me for me are the people who see past it all and can see something good inside us.
dont you find that those who consume there self with picking apart others and judging them tend to have many complex problems themselves which they ignore and wont address,as they are weak and want to feel as if they fit in with society.
repaet after me high........fuck em....there sad im not,they have missed out on enlightening theirs lives by knowing me....remember that and think of it next time someone judges you unfairly  xx

[clayton]

Yeah, I have myself found that if you ever have an episode of craziness in public, you will be considered crazy forevermore--no living it down, even if you were sober as a judge for the next 20 years---it is simply how the thing works---

[Joe Buck]

  This is my last post of today. Because of my fucked up state of mind I"ll post this copied article  Article to me is of sorts, an irony. It is relatively easy to put in words, but when you get into battle, it is fucking hell.

Not Your Fault

To Those Whose Mental Illness Makes Them Blame Themselves:

When you are in a restaurant, and you talk so loudly that someone from the next table comes over and asks you to tone it down, it's not your fault.

When you can't control your fear of dogs, and they smell it and bark at you, it's not your fault.

When you carefully follow your psychiatrist's orders -- to stay away from caffeine and get brisk exercise before bedtime, go to bed and get up at the same time each day, and refrain from napping -- and you still cannot sleep through the night, your insomnia is not your fault.

If you are so depressed so much of the time that your friends criticize you for whining or order you to "relax", or complete strangers order you to "smile", it's not your fault.

When you are bored or tense, if you cannot help biting your nails, picking at your cuticles, or whatever, annoying those around you, it's not your fault.

When you are at a party and you slip and accidentally say the wrong thing, risking someone's anger, it's not your fault.

It you are disabled by your mental illness and must live on Social Security payments, and your "friends" criticize you for "mooching" off the government, they are wrong. It's not your fault.

If your feelings get hurt by the slightest things your friends say, or if you become afraid too quickly and easily, it's not your fault.

If you sit or sleep the wrong way, or otherwise do something that activates sciatic, arthritic or back pain, it's not your fault.

If you try repeatedly but fail to find friends you can trust, it's not your fault.

When you were in high school, and the music teacher urged you to play the piano onstage at a huge assembly, and you were so frightened that you stayed home from school on assembly day instead, alienating the music teacher for a couple of years, it was not your fault.

When you were in fifth grade, and the teacher said that under no circumstances must you let a spot or stain mess up your composition book, and your brother accidentally spilled soup on the book, making your teacher angry with you, it was not your fault.

When you were in kindergarten, and you kept looking around so curiously and so much during lunch period that you did not finish eating until well into nap time, greatly annoying your teacher, it was not your fault.

Your disorder is not your fault. You did not ask to be born with genes that make you constantly tense, screwing up some of what you say and do.

And, most important, if you are constantly putting yourself down, or if you cannot seem to stop blaming yourself for things that are other people's fault (or nobody's fault), that's not your fault either. It's not your fault if you have not yet come to understand that the things you cannot control are not your fault. You will understand when it's time for you to understand.

So live a guilt-free life! (OK, BUCKOO !!)

[high maintenence]

Thanks Bob, for the pick-me-up.

Clayton...All the judges I know, are NOT usually sober..LOL

Nicki...I find that these people are exactly as you say, they have more problems in their lives than I do, like huge mortgages,car payments, and such and such that they struggle so hard to pay and fight with their spouses about and they have children that have ungodly behavior that they desperately try to hide in public. I have excepted the "fuck 'em" attitude, but it looks bad on my kids, and I don't want that to happen, but as I type this I'm thinking, "shit, if they are telling people all my business, then let 'em look looney". People around here are REALLY nosy though, and I guess it's kind of hard not to mention it. ...They make themselves fit in with society, when in reality, they struggle an enormous amount to make it all work. Tooooo much trouble for me. Just being who I am sounds much easier so I am going to repeat your words...fuck'em...thanks again Nicki