This may sound kind of stupid but...

[Cathy]

Is there any way I can "stop" being Bipolar?

I got to thinking yesterday that maybe, using my force of energy, I can stop being Bipolar. At first I was pleased to have a diagnosis but I'm just so sick of it...sick of people not understanding, sick of being lumped in with attention seekers who pretend to have it (that's not a dig at anybody on here, btw, I know you are ALL genuine and suffering), sick of swallowing meds, sick of episodes.

Why should this control me when I've survived so much abuse and come out strong?

So, if I'm strong enough, can I do it? Can I come off Meds and stop being MI for good?

Any opinions welcome.

[jtokc]

No. This is an illness, not a character defect. You need meds to manage an illness, not will power. You might as well be asking if you could control your diabetes, your blood sugar, with your will. Think about it that way and you will realize that you need your meds to control your disorder.

Jane

[Joe Buck]

If your diagnoses is correct: diagnoses of BPD, sadly there is no cure. A consumer has some control over the disorder. Control examples: how well you adhere to your treatment/ flexibility & knowledge to adjust treatment if needed/ good, trusting relationship with p/doc/ work on achieving "total health" / work on enlarging support group/ plus many other areas. But a consumer has no control over the stigma & discrimination of BPD.
  I do not quite understand your method you are referring to in this post. So nothing lost in trying your method. If it helps you, more power to you. Keep a open mind & stay in-tune with your mood level. (Starting a mood chart, is a good aid for you & for your P/doc appointments) when trying out your idea. Just saying here, if it seems it's not doing what you expected, you may get frustrated, frustration can lead to stress & stress is a trigger to cycling in BPD.

  * instructions on how to make a mood chart is on DBSA site. Just type in "mood chart" in DBSA search & there you are. Also mood charts may be available at your p/doc's office. Pharmaceutical Companies give them to p/doc's offices for free / (is a advertising medium) I have a friend that is a sales rep for pharmaceutical co. You would not believe the amount & variety of premiums they hand out to p/docs. I get a ready supply of pens & scratch paper from my p/doc's office. I got a variety of free premiums over the years. Even if you see a sales rep waiting in the p/doc's office, politely ask if they have any premiums they could give you. Never lost in asking & trying. It's lots of fun too.
                                                                       Joe Buck (Bob)

[nordicnicki]

living this way all the time does get you tired of fighting.....and yes it is annoying when there are those that want to be ill and you are catagorised with them.......
but at the end of the we are the way we are and no force or will power can change that....onlyyour meds can try to make it more managable for you.
i say this as i have only really just started down that road....been without meds for years and beleive me i am looking for just a small ray of light from this.
living day to day by trying to use will power is hopeless,you cant control it...ive tried......from what some of the posts say on this site beleive me meds seems the best option than nothing at all.....nothing at all hadnt done me any good just more harm to myself and those around me

[La Loca]

I have felt like this and gone through this many of times. I know where you are coming from. Yet I do realize it is a sickness and no matter how hard I try I cannot get rid of it and that I should definately not stop taking my meds. So be careful as to what you decide to do. Best of wishes to you.

[elwood]

Hi Cathy,

I don't have a good response but here it is anyway.  I have tried to stop my medications on a few occasions.  I sometimes felt good for up to four days.  Then I crash.  However watch what you are taking.  One combination I was on years ago some would say I was very volatile.  So volatile I spent time back in the hospital.

Elwood

[Phyllis]

I'm like you elwood. sometimes I stop taking my meds for upto 4 days maybe 5 tops before I start getting down in the dumps. (Damn it, I never seem to get manic anymore!) But I always end up haveing to pop those damn things to straighten me out. Point is, even though we think we are "cured" we are not - we can be stable, yes. But never cured. I've seen too many friends not take their meds and think they are fine and boy oh boy they are soooooooooo not fine.

[Cathy]

Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm seeing my pdoc today so I might tell him how I've been feeling and see what he says. Thanks again, and feel free to continue the discussion, I'm very interested in what everyone thinks.

[francie]

Cathy, i hope you start feeling better about your diagnosis.... there have been times i've thought "well, at least i KNOW what's wrong now". 

We all have different symptoms, and i've sorted mine out.  I've been off meds for a while, but recently, i've had difficulty with some hypomania, can't sleep and feel like the walking dead a lot of days, so i'll be going to see a doctor again, soon. 

Used to be i barely had any "stable" moments, so i've been fortunate for feeling stable a good deal of the time over the last 3-4 years. 

I can relate to what you said about stopping the bipolar disorder.  I bet people with diabetes (as Phyllis talked about) would like to wish away that illness, as well. 

I hope your pdoc is some help today!  Keep us posted!  ~~francie

[high maintenence]

My reply would only copy everyone elses. I am like you Cathy on wanting to just quit talking my meds, and I have tried, but it just doesn't go away. No way.

[Cathy]

My pdoc wants to put me on Lamictal for my depression, I guess it's a good idea, though it's a step away from stopping meds. However it seems silly to put up with the symptoms out of sheer stubbornness. My bf thinks I might be able to wean off them in a few months if I stay stable so I guess that's what I'll be aiming for. As my mother always says, "baby steps".

My pdoc also mentioned the possibility of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy because of my obsessive thoughts and handwashing. Does anyone get CBT? I'm not really sure what it is? And does anyone else have obsessive compulsive symptoms?

[Phyllis]

I was in CBT for a year. It helped a little. I also am diagnosed OCD ut I have a mild case. My therapist said the best way to combat OCD is to just stop doing what ever it is you are being OC about. Which is hard, but it can be done.

[Cathy]

Yeah my pdoc wants me to cut down to 10 handwashes a day. I'm currently on 25+ so that's gonna be tough...any advice?

[nordicnicki]

im ocd and so is my daughter.we dont do any of the washing symptoms....but i am obsessively tidy but untidy if that makes sense...i like things in straight lines and even numbers,colour coded alphabetical order etc
my daughter seems to go through rituals before she leaves the house and before she goes to bed..the usual checking of windows and doors....she moves ornaments around at night and moves them back in the morning....some things we clash on   she likes things central and i like them off centre so we can annoy each other at times.......cbt was suggested to me until the lady that does it say my file and said it was a waste of time as i was beyond controlling myself at all...
i hope that you give it a go and see how it works for you...everything is worth a try as we are all different

[Brian]

I think everyone has OCD to some extent, it's just a question of whether you let your OCD control you to the extent that you can't do anything else due to your compulsive obsessing.

Phyllis thinks I'm nuts because the TV/radio volume always has to be either an even number or a multiple of 5. I can't have the volume at 29 or 37, and sometimes I even get up and change it manually if someone else has the remote and sets the volume to the wrong number. Other times I just have to double check and make sure the volume is set to a good number.

Another time I spent about 6 hours re-organizing our entire mp3 collection so the music was split by artist and album and all had a similar naming convention. I'm not at home to double-check, but we have over 10 GB of mp3s, I think something like 15,000 songs. Even the songs I don't ever listen to; I had to rename them because I couldn't stand that there were songs that weren't named properly.